He's making diamonds.....

Hello Sweet Friends! WOW!!! Can I just say wow....first and foremost we have be blown away by the support we have received...through meals, care packages, go fund me donations, and different people just giving, it's been amazing to see all the Lord has done....this is going to be a long blog post, so good luck getting through it :)

2nd Timothy 4:17

17 But the Lord stood at my side and gave me strength, so that through me the message might be fully proclaimed and all the Gentiles might hear it. And I was delivered from the lion’s mouth. 18 The Lord will rescue me from every evil attack and will bring me safely to his heavenly kingdom. To him be glory for ever and ever. Amen.

So wow, it's been a week since I last updated y'all....Sorry about that...let's just say that life has definitely been requiring some adjustments!!!! When we left off we had made it through Friday and the craziness of the first day of chemo....

Saturday was a relatively calm and relaxing day.....Saturday morning I got to actually take a shower in the amazing parents shower on our unit and my life was changed.....no, but seriously, it was the best shower ever.....even better than my shower at home....Also my sweet friend Kristen Becnel, whose daughter recently just fought a different kind of Leukemia and won, came and hung out with me all day!!! She brought all of us goodies and made me a binder, already organized, with various different dividers and sections that I would need to stay organized.  It was so amazing to just talk to her, knowing she had gone through the same situations and how her family has not been fighting for victory, but from it.  She gave me amazing ideas, let me vent about everything, and really just encouraged me.  The one main thing she told me was that in her life, the Word of God had never become more alive and real for them, and they clung to the word...I am also sensing this and long for time reading the word.....our amazing friends have been sending us scripture and it's amazing how much one verse can keep me going throughout the day, so keep the scriptures coming...Spending time with Kristen is definitely something I will remember and cherish and was truly blessed to have her come hang out with us....

Kristen Time!

Saturday night we spent time with the amazing Sonya and had dinner from Mrs. Ellen, and we also realized we all were representing our Action shirts...even though Alayna didn't seem too excited about the matching picture shirt...

Time with Sonya (just realized how pale she was here)

Action Representing...

On Sunday we ended up getting our CBC back and realized Alayna's counts had dropped, once again...Looking back at the pictures I posted just now, I don't think I realized how she had lost a lot color, so it should have been no surprise when they ordered blood and platelets for her....Honestly, most people get upset about having to get blood, but I am so thankful for the power of blood....Alayna has done great every time she has received blood and platelets and her color returns, as well as her energy!!!! After she got blood, we were able to color, play outside on the playground, and really just enjoy our Sunday and also have a great time visiting with Alayna...Ron and I were both hoping to maybe attend a service at Action, but due to some sickness on the home front...we would have to wait another week....on Friday night Addyson started to get sick and ended up having a stomach bug....We knew it was just Satan trying to come against us and we were not going to let him have a foothold.....although Addyson couldn't come visit, it was a great, peaceful day without too many problems...our sweet Angel spent time with us and it was much needed....I am also learning to be so thankful for relaxing days where we can just hang out and enjoy each other's company....Also, so many friends told us about how our entire congregation stopped in the middle of service to pray for our Sweet girl.....so amazing to know our entire Action Family is standing with us throughout this journey!!!

Elevator Rides

Train Time

By Monday, not going to lie, I was pretty over the idea of still being in the hospital....We are so blessed, that for the most part, we can do our treatments on an outpatient basis and I am so thankful!!!  Monday, Alayna received her second IV does of Vincristine (the main chemo she will receive this month!) and we also realized that crushing our medications and putting them in applesauce or yogurt worked so much better than a liquid medication and trying to force it down her!!! We were so thankful we found a solution, and although it is still a struggle, it is very manageable, especially if bribery is involved....definitely hate that side of it, but in the end, I am learning to pick my battles, and a little extra candy or paci time in order for her to take her medication is very worth it to me...Also our sweet friends Justin and Stefanie brought us dinner and just hung out with Ron and I...it was almost like a mini date night...We laughed, we cried....it was truly something I will always remember and exactly what our tired hearts needed

Rocking out Room 4015

On Monday, Ron also came up after working all weekend with my Mom and Jerry to completely reorganize our entire house, go through the baby clothes, and set up Avery's new nursery.....My husband and Jerry even painted furniture!!! He also let me go to target for a little while, which seriously is every Mom's dream.  By Monday night I was ready to be done with the hospital.  Monday night we had a rough night when at 4AM the nurse had trouble getting blood from Alayna's line, so that 4am wakeup call was not so fun

TUESDAY WE GOT TO GO HOME!!!! Praise the Lord, it was awesome....Although it took like forever to actually get discharged, I have never been more excited, more scared, or more ready to be home.....Tuesday was a tough day for me because we got home and nothing felt any different.  My house had been cleaned, but within a few hours having a toddler and 4 year old in a confined space, craziness ensued.  Both the girls were so happy to be together, and I was excited too, but also slightly overwhemed .  My girls were playing together, laughing, and screaming like nothing had changed.  But it had, and I knew it had, however they didn't.  I wanted to pretend like everything was still ok and that the last week was really just a dream.  Addyson also initially had a really hard time adjusting and was saying things like, "No one wants to hang out with me..." and still just doesn't really understand what is going on.  We have really tried to spend more time with her and explain, but she is 4....I'm having a hard enough time understanding all of this, how do I expect a 4 year old to? 

Wednesday and Thursday, while I worked, Ron hung out with the girls and Addy even decided she should go swimming....the pool was freezing but the beautiful weather was undeniable and she couldn't resist...We also were able to get more rules about who we could see, where we could go, and who we could be around....so that made this Mama's heart happy....the Lord has also given me strength to keep working and finding a way to still work since Ron has been home with the girls.....

Friday CHEMO fun day.....Some of you might have seen my post of Facebook, but on the way there the Lord, I heard a perfect song for our journey....the words were spot on and honestly I couldn't help but smile and dance.....In all of this craziness and adjustment, the Lord has given us this sweet peace and I just know everything is going to be ok....Already the stories and the testimonies are incredible...we have been amazed how every person, every nurse, we meet has this incredible story and we get to share ours with some many people and also praise God in all of it....As much as we don't want to be going through this, the Lord has sustained us and given us JOY! How is that even possible?  But the Lord continues to give us strength and I love that this is becoming our theme song....

"Diamonds"

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Yf1ARbpB0gA

Here and now I'm in the fire,
In above my head
Oh, oh, oh oh, oh, oh
Being held under the pressure,
Don't know what'll be left
Oh, oh, oh oh, oh, oh
But it's here in the ashes
I'm finding treasure

He's making diamonds, diamonds
Making diamonds out of dust
He is refining in his timing
He's making diamonds out of us

I'll surrender to the power
Of being crushed by love
Oh, oh, oh oh, oh, oh
Till the beauty that was hidden
Isn't covered up
Oh, oh, oh oh, oh, oh
Oh it's not what I hoped for
It's something much better

He's making diamonds, diamonds
Making diamonds out of dust
He is refining in his timing
He's making diamonds out of us

Oh the joy of the lord
It will be my strength
When the pressure is on
He's making diamonds

He's making diamonds, diamonds
Making us rise up from the dust
He is refining in his timing
He's making diamonds out of dust
Making diamonds out of us

I won't be afraid to shine
I won't be afraid to shine
I won't be afraid to shine
Cause he's making diamonds out of dust
Making diamonds out of us

Thanks to our sweet friend Christine, Addy had another sleepover with Ellie, and we woke up super early to drive to the clinic....we were blessed with no traffic and thanks to my awesome bestie Tiffany, Mama and Daddy got Starbucks.....when we got to clinic, met nurse Marlene who was absolutely amazing....we have been so impressed with how many amazing nurses we have met, and Marlene shared her story of how she escaped from Fidel Castro as a child and how the Lord healed her sister from Leukemia....Thankfully to our sweet childlife friend, Lauren, and nurse Marlene, Alayna completely rocked out her Port access...hardly any tears and Marlene even got her port working much better than before....Her sedation and procedure was so fast, with no tears from Alayna or from Mommy, and she was back to her normal self in no time.  Today's chemo was Methotrexate in her spine, and more Vincristine....We also got back initial cytogenetics back from day 1, and there were no abnormal  unfavorable cells PRAISE THE LORD!!!!! This was a great answer to prayer, because it allows us to stay standard risk at this time...there was also no favorable cells, which would help us get to low risk, but we know we serve a big God and there's still a chance we could get to low risk!!! So we are believing for it....Also, Friday's initial CSF results showed no leukemia once again, another big answer to prayers....Although her counts are super low (her ANC was only 240!), her hematocrit was stable at 9.7 and she only needed platelet (which were down to 17) and not blood! Which was awesome.....She was a joy to be around and we can say we survived our first day at clinic with no admission!!!!!

Psalms 28:6

Praise be to the Lord,

    for he has heard my cry for mercy.

7 

The Lord is my strength and my shield;

    my heart trusts in him, and he helps me.

My heart leaps for joy,

    and with my song I praise him.

ready for her sedation

Waiting Room waiting game

As we continue to adjust, please say prayer for us....I find myself having less patience then I should and my girls being more winey than they should be.....I seriously do not know how I would survive without my amazing husband...he is in charge of Alayna's meds even though I am the nurse ha, and he has such a sense of calmness...the last three nights after working all day and having really bad pain in my back and ribs, he never once complained about me falling asleep at 9pm and this morning woke up early before he left for work to give Alayna her meds and cook breakfast, with my coffee waiting...He is incredible and I am so blessed with such an awesome father and husband....despite his massively growing beard......So many people wanna know when he is going to trim it....and I will also join that club.....maybe we can start a petition...Ron trim the beard committee....He said he gets so many compliments he would hate to make anyone sad by shaving it.....so who knows lol

SO HERE'S the PRAYER LIST

1. Pray that we can continue to adjust to this new normal and that this Mama won't go crazy in the middle of it all....I am on my 5th day working in a row and thankfully the Lord has continued to open doors at work so I don't miss out on treatment...but I am tired...and 34 weeks pregnant....and hurting in my back and ribs....(the complaint list continues so I will stop now) so just prayers for strength and no pain

Philippians 4:4

4 Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! 5 Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. 6 Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. 7 And the peace of God,which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

2. Pray that our house sells! We have a huge relator event on Tuesday with food, prizes, the whole shebang...and we are hoping to get lots of showing after....We have had numerous showings this week, but no offers!  So please continue to share our house link and let any realtors you know about the party.... We know one is just around the corner but we need an offer like yesterday!  We are now having to pay power at our old house, so we can show it, and it's just another expense at the moment and although we have been amazed by how the Lord has provided....we still have so many day to day expenses and Ron hasn't been able to work.....

3. Pray that Alayna's counts continue to rise and she continues to take her meds...It is a daily struggle as she figures out where the nasty medication is hidden and it's definitely hard!  Also pray that she adjusts and continues to feel great with no nausea and NO FEVERS!!!!

4. Pray for Addyson's sweet heart....She is still confused about all of this and as a 4 year old, loves to be the center of attention, and I am having trouble explaining things and dealing with the whining....Once again thankful for my husband

Time with my Big Girl

5. Finally, continue to pray for the cytogenetic results...we are believing that we can turn to LOW RISK or even better yet, NO RISK!!!!!

We love you all and I will try to keep you more updated so these blogs are so horrible long....but we love you and thank you so much for all the support...

so thankful we are all Beautiful Complete, and being refined in His timing....

Happy 34 weeks and crazy camera angles lol

Psalms 30:11-12 (The Message)

You did it: you changed wild lament
    into whirling dance;
You ripped off my black mourning band
    and decked me with wildflowers.
I’m about to burst with song;
    I can’t keep quiet about you.
God, my God,
    I can’t thank you enough.

11-12 

Miracles, Angel's, and knowing this is just the beginning....

Tonight I find myself, once again, in a quiet room, worship music play while my sweet girl sleeps, and with every deep breath, and quietness in the room, the presence of the Lord remains so sweet and so strong, despite the craziness of the last few days.....

It's hard to know where to even begin, but I guess the best place would be where I left off...

After the bone marrow biopsy on day 2, the Lord continued to show up and place amazing things in front of our eyes....After 2 hours of sleep on night 1, I decided I would go home and sleep since I had to teach on Thursday....and of course when I got home the first thing I did was vacuum and mop the floors....sure, I should have been sleeping, but I just couldn't....I am sure it's partially a control thing, and just being really transparent here, but even just knowing my floors were clean is like an immediate sense of calmness and by the simple act of cleaning a floor, that the entire house appears different..... I think we do this some in our own life....try to make things look better for an immediate feeling of peace, and sometimes I know this is a challenge for me to stay in balance...And I fully admit to my floor obsession, but after the last few days we had, it was just something I needed to do to feel better....so even though I had to work the next day, the floors were clean and there was some sense of peace despite the lack of sleep and at 5:00AM alarm clock....

Day 3: PORT DAY! So thankful that my amazing husband was able to be with Laney while I taught my students.....My husband, he sure is a special one...while Alayna was in the OR he met another family with a daughter our age and a much different diagnosis....We have realized over the last few days how blessed we are to have the diagnosis of ALL and particularly type B-cell....we have hope and trust in Alayna's beautiful and complete healing, but others do not share in this hope or even have the same prognosis....It seems so crazy, and I said it in my last blog, but we are truly honored to be chosen for this path, and believe completely that is a blessing to have ALL because others do not have the hope we possess

Job 11:18New Living Translation (NLT
You will be protected and will rest in safety.
Having hope will give you courage.

Some people have asked why I am still trying to work, and the answer is pretty simple, because I have to...it will set us up to have income during my maternity leave and I love teaching, but being away from my baby during her port surgery was one of the hardest things I have ever done in my life....Thank the Lord for FaceTime...It has been such a lifesaver for us, just to be able to connect with family while in the hospital and Alayna always wants to call or "FaceTime" people....

FaceTime before surgery

As soon as I got done teaching, I immediately rushed to the hospital....I couldn't have walked in at a better time, because of prayer team from Action was there praying in Alayna's room....and they also got to pray with the family Ron met in the waiting room....there was such a peace in her room and just a sweet spirit....we had the most amazing worship time and prayer time while she slept so peacefully after her port placement....they told us that she was the best 2 year old patient they had ever had and they also thankfully already accessed her port so they wouldn't have to do it when she was so sore....The Lord keeps confirming her complete healing and it's so exciting to see that already happening...while in surgery she had a Lumbar Puncture and chemo placed in her spine to prevent the ALL from crossing into the blood brain barrier...

Sweet Angel sleep while we worshipped

After she woke up from surgery, things got a little rough.....she got very nauseated, started throwing up and spiked a fever up to 103....it was scary and not very fun because I knew she was absolutely miserable....they had to draw blood cultures and start an antibiotic.....Poor thing was just miserable....luckily after all the stress and things had calmed down, my sweet friends Becky and Kelsey (all the way from Bradenton!) both came to visit...they were so helpful in getting her cleaned up and her hair washed (thankfully Kelsey went to hair school and Becky can make a mean hospital bed).....it was so nice for Mama, as well, just to feel encouraged and loved on!

Day 4: Laney was pretty sore after surgery....we had a pretty good night after surgery, but I knew this would be the day we started chemo....as we prepared to start our first IV drug....I was super nervous...to think of chemo running through my sweet girls blood was just a scary thought...thankfully my sweet friend Angeline came to sit with me on Friday and she even brought me Starbucks :) Angeline was my very first boss when I became a nurse but over the years our relationship has become definitely more like a sisterhood. She is an incredible prayer warrior and always says what I need to hear even when k don't want to hear it sometimes and just being around her brings this sense of comfort to our whole family. Everyone loves their Angel!!! Friday the VanHovens also spent time with us and thankfully I am resting in sweet sleep because sweet Kelly found me a solution to a very uncomfortable bed, another answer to prayer..

Angel Time...and look at Alayn's face, precious

In all of this, I have had some people give me lots of their opinions and different options....and if I let it, it could upset me, but there's not doubt in my mind that the Lord lead us to the right doctor...who is simply just amazing...and the right treatment plan.....Sometimes we look to things to blame things on and say things are caused by this or that...and to be honest, I don't need something to blame right now....Satan would want to make me think this was our fault, or something we did, or that we caused it because of the way we practice medicine in our own life...the list goes on and on...but that's exactly what he wants us to do....to feel guilty....and I can't choose to accept that negativity...I choose to believe that we were chose for this as a way to share the love and hope of Christ...and I have been blown away by how God truly has ordained every step that has lead us to this point, and I will continue to choose life in our situation....

That day we were also hoping to get results back on the CSF fluids, and the Lord is so faithful because I am happy to announce there is NO LEUKEMIA IN HER CSF FLUID!!!!

This was just the first miracle in a long string of miracle....Laney definitely didn't want to eat a lot, but we were able to go to treasure box for our town after our procedures and we also received Chemo Duck and our Beads of Courage....(Chemo Duck is a super soft duck that goes with you on your journey and as you bring him in, he gets stamps, and eventually you get to turn in the stamps for something awesome....Bands of Courage is a program to reward cancer kids by giving them a bead for everytime they reach a milestone or go through something hard...it was so so cool! Friday night end up being crazy as well because my amazing Mama came down from TN to help us...she's already gone through all my kiddos clothes and taken care of a sick Addyson, so I am so blessed she is here...

Grandma is here!!!

Cancer Duck

BEADS!!!

Of course after Addy saw her Friday, they had to match

I know we are now done and up to Day 5, but that one is going to have to come tomorrow because this Mama is tired and also to tired to proof read so I apologize.....but, it truly has been amazing to see what the Lord is doing...my awesome Birmingham bestie, Tiffany Gray had been so amazing to just be someone I can vent to and talk to and she has also been so great and set up a go fund me.  We have heard amazing stories even just through that although I haven't had time to even look at the posts on there either. We have been so overwhelmed by the prayers and support that are encompassing us.....we received great news today about multiple showings at our house......but it still hasn't sold....but also are starting to see huge answers finiancially and believe the Lord will completely provide for our bills due in the next few days so check out the Go-Fund Me page when you get a free minute.....

““But now take another look. I’m going to give this city a thorough renovation, working a true healing inside and out. I’m going to show them life whole, life brimming with blessings. I’ll restore everything that was lost to Judah and Jerusalem. I’ll build everything back as good as new. I’ll scrub them clean from the dirt they’ve done against me. I’ll forgive everything they’ve done wrong, forgive all their rebellions. And Jerusalem will be a center of joy and praise and glory for all the countries on earth. They’ll get reports on all the good I’m doing for her. They’ll be in awe of the blessings I am pouring on her.”

Jeremiah 33:6-9 MSG

http://bible.com/97/jer.33.6-9.msg

Please keep praying for the following

1: OUR HOUSE HAS TO SELL

2. Please pray Addyson gets better...she has flu like symptoms and just hasn't been herself and we need prayer....

3. For Alayna...chemo slows down the digestive track and she need to go potty so she won't get an obstruction....she doesn't like medicine anymore so we literally have to hold her down to give one of her meds....so she needs to go potty for sure and we need to find a way to get her to like her Meds...and for her little heart once again......

4. Continued pray for our finances...believing and knowing the Lord is providing that!! 

MORE INFORMATION TOMORROW!!!

So blessed that we were chosen for this and just ready for the chance to see God show up and Show off and for our sweet girls! Keep following our journey!!!!

https://www.facebook.com/tiffany.l.gray.77/posts/10153903807207433

Jeremiah 31:12New Living Translation (NLT)

                                       They will be radiant because of the Lord’s good gifts—

the abundant crops of grain, new wine, and olive oil and the healthy flocks and herds.
Their life will be like a watered garden,
and all their sorrows will be gone.
They will come home and sing songs of joy on the heights of Jerusalem

Beautifully complete

As I sit in a hospital room, with worship music playing, and our precious Alayna sleeping beside me, I realize my life has changed in just 24 hours....As we start this journey together, I realize this might be a long blog, but hopefully it will encourage you and you will see how the Lord is the perfect conductor to this amazing symphony He's creating...

A couple of weeks ago we noticed Alayna started having some pretty bad bruises on her legs.  Honestly I didn't think much about it because I am a pediatric ER nurse and it takes a whole lot to get me worked up....she had had some on and off fevers but once again, and been more fussy than normal but I chalked it up to knowing a new baby was coming and nothing I was super concerned about.....

Over the last 2 months we have been in the middle of a storm, with our house contract falling through, being challenged with expensive repairs and additional trips to Alabama, and lots of, "Ok God, we need a miracle..." moments.  Our minds have been all over the place, but through it all, in the middle of the crazy, we have seen God move like never before.....He has provided extra work for me and continued to provide work for Ron.  This weekend we were planning a trip to Alabama and were excited to be welcoming Avery Grace in just 8 weeks.....

Last Tuesday we went to Disney with our sweet friend, Christine Romm and her girls, and had a great time.  That day I was wearing Alayna on my back in my ergo and she accidentally bumped into a wall.  She barely touched it, but within 5 mins her entire head was bruised.  With the medical background I have, I started to wonder what was going on.  I kept rationalizing in my head that it must be her iron or chalking it up to the fact that she is kinda clumsy like her Mama....after church on Sunday we noticed even more bruises on her feet and in random places and so we knew it was time to get her checked out..

Disney with the Besties

Tuesday we got into see her pediatrician, who also happens to be a hematologist and used to be an oncologist, and that's when the spinning began.  After two sticks, they finally got blood work and as soon as the needle went in, her arm bruised.  I kinda knew then things weren't looking great.  Within 10-15mins the nurses were asking Addy and Alayna to come play with them, and there I sat, knowing what was coming and feeling like and Alabama spring tornado just hit.  My doctor is not much for sugar coating, which I am so thankful for, and basically told me her labs were unreadable and that he thought my sweet Laney Bug had leukemia.  All the labs pointed to it and I needed to be prepared.  I immediately called Ron who rushed there and since then it's kind of been like we were in a dream state....

We had faith and were believing for the best, but also preparing for what might be ahead of us.  Ironically, Christine and I had already planned to go to the park and Chickfila after the appointment (A Mama's perfect day out, if you haven't seen this youtube video, you have to https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qISA2TD8xhk), and she immediately stepped in to take Addyson with her for a sleepover.  The crazy thing about it all was how perfectly God has orchestrated the people in our lives right now.  Christine was also with me when we got the news about the house and has become such a strong rock for me.  It is amazing how literally every time I have needed someone when I got bad new, over the last month, she has been there....God ordained moments for sure....and The Lord knew she was just what Addyson would need to....

Right before we walked in and life became even more crazy

So with Addyson taken care of, we packed our bags and headed to the hospital.  We were sent to the oncology clinic where we met our amazing team that God truly had hand picked to take care of us.  The tears have been constant, on and off, but through it all, each breakdown makes us a little stronger....Once again, two pokes later, we had an IV and all the bloodwork we needed.  We met with our doctor and he basically explained how lab work wise, he was leaning towards leukemia.  We settled into our room and treatment began. Through it all, Alayna has definitely not lost any energy.  Everyone keep saying how she doesn't act like a kid with leukemia and she has so much energy....which is such a good thing but also such a challenge in a tiny room with IV fluids and IV's, vitals every hour, etc.  Her initial blood work showed she was critically low on her hematocrit and hemoglobin, her platelets were also criticallow, which would explain the bruising, and her WBC was very high.  She also had blast cells present, which is a typical sign of leukemia.  After some wagon rides and playing with child life (who clearly became Alayna's best friends about 3 lollipops and bags of dummies in), we started a blood transfusion and our long night began

Great First Night

Alayna did great and slept through pretty much everything, right beside her Daddy, her Mama....not so much ha, but I know it is all part of the process.  Today we had a bone marrow aspiration and biopsy, which was probably the hardest challenge of it all.  Seeing my baby in pain and sedated, which is something I see all the time at work, was a whole different level of mommy hood.  It seems so easy in the ER, but when it's your baby, it's completely different....I didn't make it through the procedure and found myself in a random room, listening to the song, "Just be held..." and crying out to God, praying for different results, praying all of this was a dream, and praying for a miracle...

After her biopsy

The Lord has also sent us friends that have gone through very similar situations, and some who are just praying for us, just a text away, and I am so blessed to have so many friends pouring their love out for us...as well as friends that were keen to hearing the Holy Spirit, and had been texting us both without even knowing things were going on....those same friends have organized meal trains for us, and our Action family has already poured out amazing love on us ...We have never felt so loved and taken care of and we cannot express how truly thankful we are...Last night sweet friends brought us dinner , and that will continue, and today Aunt Cherie and Uncle Bryan paid us a visit to help us receive the news

Fishy faces with Aunt Cherie

Dumbo fun

We love Payton!

At one point in my day I had 7 missed calls and 45 unread texts....so if you have texted and I haven't responded, please know I am so thankful for the prayers and for the scripture...keep them coming

About an hour after the tests we received work from the pathologist that based on the preliminary bloodwork, we were looking at leukemia for sure, and today's bone marrow results also confirmed that......

So here is what we know so far.....God is God, and He is good, and He's already working miracles....If it had to be leukemia, we were praying for a specific type.  Alayna has been diagnosed with Acute Lymphocytic Leukemia (ALL) type preB cell cancer....This is the most common of all childhood cancers, and also the most treatable and completely curable.  Our doctor told us he knows 80 year olds that are still living who went through this type of cancer.....so that is definitely a miracle in itself.   We also know, according to our doc, that we caught it at the absolutely perfect time.....Tomorrow morning we go for a port placement and Lumbar puncture where they will inject chemotherapy into her spinal fluid.  Friday we will start IV chemo therapy.....

We are standing strong on the scripture, 

Psalm 66:8-20New Living Translation (NLT)

8 Let the whole world bless our God
    and loudly sing his praises.
9 Our lives are in his hands,
    and he keeps our feet from stumbling.
10 You have tested us, O God;
    you have purified us like silver.
11 You captured us in your net
    and laid the burden of slavery on our backs.
12 Then you put a leader over us.[a]
    We went through fire and flood,
    but you brought us to a place of great abundance

We have felt like for a long time that something was coming.  We thought with the house situation, it couldn't be much worse and at least we still had health....But we know the Lord has a plan for us in all of this....that we will go through the fire, and come to a place of great abundance.  We are so excited to see what the Lord will done, has already done, and feel so blessed that we were chosen for this journey....He knew we could handle it and He knew we would give him all the glory and praise.....

As far as specific needs and prayer requests....Here's where we are at....

1. Alayna will have no leukemia in her spinal fluid and that she has no complications with her port placement

2. Our house has to sell....like really....two mortgage payments plus all the medical bills that are coming quickly would cause many to doubt, but we know financially the Lord will provide for our needs and make a way in the desert.  

Exodus 14:13-14New Living Translation (NLT)

13 But Moses told the people, “Don’t be afraid. Just stand still and watch the Lord rescue you today. The Egyptians you see today will never be seen again. 14 The Lord himself will fight for you. Just stay calm.”

3. Pray that Alayna will have no serious side effects from chemotherapy and her staging will shift from standard risk, to low risk
4. Pray for sweet Addyson's heart.  She has recently had some trouble with discipline and just adjusting in general and that she will understand all of this and not feel left out

Psalm 8:2New Living Translation (NLT)

2 You have taught children and infants
    to tell of your strength,[a]
silencing your enemies
    and all who oppose you.

5. Pray for our sweet Avery Grace, and that she and Mama can stay healthy in the middle of all of this
6. Once again, just pray for the finances, as we have numerous things about to come up and not exactly sure how it will all work out

Psalms 138:3,
As soon as I pray, you answer me;
    you encourage me by giving me strength.
Though I am surrounded by troubles,
    you will protect me from the anger of my enemies.
You reach out your hand,
    and the power of your right hand saves me.
 The Lord will work out his plans for my life—
    for your faithful love, O Lord, endures forever.

Please join us on this journey. We really cannot wait to see how the Lord shows up and shows off.  We are believing she will be blessed, and beautifully complete.  Keep the prayers coming and the scriptures as well....We love you all

Join our beautiful complete journey

The Hope That Tomorrow Will Bring

Tonight I am sitting in Panera, headphones in, using Free Wi-FI, and memories of college come flooding through my mind.  I remember hours and hours of sitting in these comfy chairs, never knowing what was ahead of me after college, and only trying to thrive and survive. 

Wild and Free

Crazy how things often come back around. Here I sit, once again, not knowing exactly what is a head of me.  My life is currently being lived in the form of suitcases and packed cars.  Ron left on Saturday, 26 foot passenger truck in tow, loaded to the max, and our life is about to change.

And it's scary and crazy and makes me nervous, but so incredibly exciting all in one.

Throughout this whole process I know the Lord has been stripping us.  So many people want to know, "But why are you leaving...?" I loved what Pastor Hamp Green said in his last message.  "God cannot move when you are comfortable"....Even the word of God states it...."


John 16:33
³³ “I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.”

Have you ever really thought about this verse?....I think so often we love to read the part that says, "Take heart I have over come"......because honestly, who really likes to hear, "You will have trouble..." 

But if you go back and look at the first part of this verse, you might see it differently....

I HAVE TOLD YOU THESE THINGS, SO THAT IN ME, YOU MIGHT HAVE PEACE....

Really?  Jesus is trying to comfort us and give us peace....Normally when I want to comfort someone or give them peace of mind, my typical response isn't, "Hey, things are going to get REALLY bad, but don't worry, you got this...." No I think I like things more flowery and promising.....

But that's just the point...This isn't our real home and we aren't supposed to have everything perfect...It doesn't mean we can't enjoy life and that the Lord won't bless us, but when we are comfortably we only depend on ourselves...there's no room for God...

So, as we get ready to change all we know, leave our families and friends, so many might not find peace there...but it's incredible to see how the Lord has given me peace in the trouble... I really don't know how..in the trouble of packing...in the trouble of purging....

YES, I did have to get rid of my favorite recliner, the one thing I wanted to bring, yes, Ron did make me leave it behind....and I almost cried.....I had gotten it before Addy was born, nursed in it, fell asleep in it...it was mine....

First Night I got it!

And then the Lord convicted me....why are you hanging on to a RECLINER, it's a recliner....Don't you think I am big enough to restore your Big Lots Christmas Special recliner?.....I was feeling sorry for myself and leaving our dream house behind and having a pity party over things.....and don't we all do it....especially us women....But Lord, she is prettier, they have well behaved kiddos, their yard is awesome...we all do it and we all cling so tight.....

But the Lord wants to bring us PEACE...He wants to give us Hope...and He wants to strip us....Yes, we will have trouble, but the Lord restore and changes us and grows us and if we stay in the same place, there's no way to grow or move to the even bigger and better things He has planned for us......

We have to get out of our comfort zones or we will die there....it's life..it's the truth

So what is your comfort zone?....Where is the Lord leading you to go, maybe kicking and screaming?.....When we first talked about Florida I told Ron, "No way, it isn't happening..."
But, as I realized that the Lord had been preparing us to go, and slowly started letting go...Doors started opening like crazy...our journey to Florida has been incredible and there will definitely be a future post on that story...because I am still completely in awe of all He has done..but tonight I challenge you....What insecurities do you need to kick to the curb?  Comparison is the thief of joy.....so....What do you need to let go of, to be stripped of?....

I promise, you may not want to take that leap of faith, but you will never get to truly experience the beauty of floating in the air if you can never jump out of the plane.....

Trusting in things unseen, and so excited to see where the Lord takes us over these next few week....

The Lord's romance for me the morning Ron left

Jen

NEW BLOG COMING SOON!!!!!

The Pre-Addyson Birth Story.......

So yea, I know I haven't updated how my blog looks....Hmmm...I should probably figure out how to do that.....but Lauren did such a good job on it and so I guess for now let's just pretend it is new and pretty!!!

A new friend of mine was talking about our birth stories, and I figured it was probably about time to write mine down....Before I tell the story of what an incredible delivery we had, there's a little bit of a back story to understand why it truly was amazing.....So this is the PRE-BIRTH story....

Ron and I knew we wanted a baby.....We didn't really think to much about it....Just figured it would happen when the Lord wanted.....and in some ways, that was completely true....When we finally realized how the getting pregnant game works and that there's certain times, etc, we got pregnant immediately and we couldn't have been happier.  I remember seeing what I thought was a positive pregnancy test and freaking out, texting my Mom and best friend a picture, asking, "Is this positive enough?!?"

I can't help but smile thinking about it now and how silly they must have thought I was.....We had just bought a house, Ron was starting a brand new full time ministry, and it seemed like everything was falling into place.  The Lord knew what he was doing because I was due in October, which meant I would have all the holidays off and truly get to spend some amazing time together during the holiday.....

So pregnancy started and at 6 weeks I felt amazing!!! About the middle of my sixth week, it HIT.....like a tornado....Never have I experienced the nausea and horrible icky feeling that pregnancy brought....and it wasn't just in the morning, it was all day long, all night long, every second of the day....I was working at LWR and would literally wake up, have to eat honey nut cheerios before my feet even touched the ground, work till 4:30, miserable and barely able to stand up, come home, fall asleep, Ron would wake me up at 8:00 to eat dinner, and then I would go back to sleep....and that is how I lived life except for having to be at church and lead worship....and it lasted for what seemed like forever......I lost weight and pretty much forgot about running....I felt like there was an alien in my body and I had no control over it, which I would soon learn, would be so true even now :)  I thought I would never feel human again......And after almost 18 weeks of misery, there was a light at the end of the tunnel.....

or so I thought.....

By 18 weeks my nausea was gone and I learned I would be the Mommy to an amazing beautiful DAUGHTER.....which completely scared me...I didn't have sisters or really that many friends that were girls and I thought for sure I was going to have a boy....Man, the Lord has a sense of humor...

Things were good for about 10 weeks....I was able to start running again and I almost felt normal.....almost....

At 28 weeks I started having incredibly painful back pain....I tried prenatal yoga, I tried exercise, I tried stretching, but nothing seemed to make it better.....And then it happened.....

The Saturday before I was almost 32 weeks preggo I was at a birthday party for one of my besties when all of a sudden I couldn't breathe....I had never felt so much pain before in my entire life.....I knew I had to lay down....as I laid down on her sofa, I felt pain on my right side and I knew something was wrong....I could barely walk, I could barely breathe, I could barely move...

This sent me through a long series of numerous tests, ultrasounds, and two different hospital stays....I visited a chiropractor and his response was, "Well, it is an incredibly rare thing, but darling, I think your daughter broke your rib...." And after all the tests to rule out galbladder, kidneys, preterm labor, basically everything in the world it could be, all that was left to blame it on was a broken floating rib....in fact, on the numerous ultrasounds I was having to have, I could literally see her little foot propped up by rib, her own personal ottoman, crazy girl!!! This was followed by 8+ weeks of more misery.....

I am not sure if any of you have experienced a broken rib...but I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy....Every time you breathe it hurts, every time you move you find sharp pain.....Ironically the same exact time I found out I had a broken rib, I also found out my work was downsizing and I would no longer have a job, unless I returned to being a floor nurse.....My absolute worst nightmare....

I was at a loss and had no where to turn but to the Lord.....He sustained me, he was the ultimate healer....He allowed doors to open up for me and I was able to assist in other areas at work, while living on ice packs.  Thank God for the LWR physical therapy department...They were my constant source of ice packs, which I lived on 24/7 since we all know Tylenol is not really good for anything and the Lord blessed me with a husband who was patient enough to understand......The Lord really made a way for me to survive in so many ways....Like the fact that our neighbors had a pool that I could relax in every night, and believe me, floating made is soo much better....weightless......and through it all...I grew and I grew and I grew....Although Addyson was measuring small, those 8 weeks passed, and we started anxiously waiting Addyson's arrival....

I knew I wanted to try to go natural.....I figured, I was an athlete, a runner, birthing a baby would be an easy thing.....My doctor highly suggested against it, since I did have a broken rib and all, but my mind was set, and I was going to at least try.....So many of my friends had gone natural, of course, so could I....

40 weeks came....and 40 weeks went...I really didn't want to be induced....the thought of pitocin was definitely not in my plan, but the Lord once again knew what he was doing.....I tried everything to get her to come out....I even ran almost 3 miles 2 days before she was delivered...(see the pic of me after my run below!)  She was stubborn and liked my ribs too much to want to leave

So the day came and my doc basically said, "Jenny, it's time......It's time for that rib to heal and for you not to be in pain anymore.....and so the date was set.....I would go into work half a day on Monday October 17th, leave around 12 to get ready, and return at 6 that night to start cervadil, in hopes to kick start my labor.......and as much as I DIDN'T want to be induced......I was finally done with the idea of pain, so big, and just ready to see my sweet girl.......

And so the labor would begin....or at least try to begin......

Stay tuned for the actual labor story next blog to see what happened!!!!