Monday, March 7, 2016

Hospital Life

Just wanted to give y'all a quick update since our last update was Friday.....

Friday we started CONSOLIDATION!  Friday truly was the longest day in the world....Alayna had to stop eating and drinking the night before since the LP's are done under sedation and we were not sure if she would make counts, so we had to go to clinic at 8:00AM and then wait for labs, her Lumbar Puncture (LP), and then an additional 30 mins before she could eat....She definitely wasn't happy about not eating till after 11, but I had given her a unopened peppermint and she just kept holding on to it, knowing she couldn't have it till I told her it was ok....When she was finally able to eat the peppermint she was one happy girl....

She did great with her Lumbar Puncture, where they also gave her chemo in her spine.  Because she is High Risk, she will actually have LP's the next 4 weeks in a row, with chemo each time.  A lot of people have asked me why she keeps having LP's....well basically, when you receive chemo, either IV or orally, it typically won't cross into the spine, otherwise known as the blood brain barrier.  Leukemia is super sneaky and loves to hang out in spinal fluid.....so every time she gets a lumbar puncture, they pull cerebral spinal fluid (CSF) to make sure there is still no leukemia in her spinal fluid, and they also give her chemo in the same spot, to help prevent leukemia from ever getting there.  We are also part of a research study through a national cancer group and we were unsure if she would be receiving just one individual chemo in her spine, or three different drugs mixed together.  We found out this week we would just receive the one type of chemo, so that is a blessing...it is a randomized study, so we had no control over it, but we are glad we are only getting the one drug version.  However, the drug she receives in her spine is called Methotrexate.  It is a very common chemo drug and has been around for a long time.  However, every time she has received this chemo in her spine, she has also spiked a fever.  Fever's aren't super common with this drug but it seems to be how she is responding.  Last week when we went to the ER for fever, it was after her LP with methotrexate....the first time we were admitted for fevers it was on day 9, the day after she received methotrexate in her spine the first time...so we were kind of expecting it this week but we were praying against it.....

After her procedure, she also got 2 different forms of IV chemo....this whole process took a very long time because we needed to wait for additional labs, which took almost 3 hours, and after those drugs she was required to receive a large amount of fluids through her port, which only made her swollen....After the steroids her swelling has continued to come down, but on Friday with all the fluids on board, she looked so different and swollen...I am learning that although she may not look like the Alayna I remember, she still has the same sweet spirit and nature deep down, underneath all the drugs and fluids.  Please keep praying with us that her swelling will continue to come down and her face will become less swollen....

My Happy Asian

....needless to say it was a very long day and I was so thankful to finally get home.  Our sweet friend Nicole, who used to be our nanny, ended up ordering us dinner and I honestly was so grateful.  After the longest clinic day ever, it was so nice to not have to cook and just relax as a family.

Saturday morning was a beautiful morning and I got to take Addyson on a date.....Definitely had a mommy fail, however, because I wanted to take her for her first pedicure and we found a place with a princess chair that was just her size....We went and got donuts first (and iced coffee for Mommy of course....Did you know Dunkin Doughnuts has their Sugar Cookie Flavor again!!! Oh my goodness, it's amazing...and I am kind of obsessed....which I shouldn't be but yes, love me some Dunkin Iced Coffee! and I am going to go broke going there getting it!!) but after donuts, we came to the nail salon and I didn't make an appointment because it's a walk in place (or so I thought!),  and sadly the princess chair was booked for a birthday party all day...Needless to say, Addyson was not happy and I felt horrible...but we are hoping to go back this week before new baby comes!

Saturday afternoon I was showered with love at our Baby Shower for Avery Grace.....everything looked so amazing and Kelli and Elizabeth made sure I had all the food I had been craving all throughout my pregnancy like guacamole, buffalo chicken dip, and Coke Zero of course...It was so nice to see a lot of friends that I haven't seen since we were diagnosed....Avery stocked up on diapers and wipe,s and we got some things off our Target Registry too! I definitely feel so blessed to have so much love surrounding this new baby and our entire family....The Lord knew a year ago that we would be faced with all these challenges, and we are so blessed to have our Action family on this journey with us
Sweet Shower Host Elizabeth and Kelli (And Annabelle Too!)

1st Corinthians 1:4
I always thank my God for you and for the gracious gifts he has given you, now that you belong to Christ Jesus. Through him, God has enriched your church in every way—with all of your eloquent words and all of your knowledge. This confirms that what I told you about Christ is true. Now you have every spiritual gift you need as you eagerly wait for the return of our Lord Jesus Christ. He will keep you strong to the end so that you will be free from all blame on the day when our Lord Jesus Christ returns. God will do this, for he is faithful to do what he says

So after I had finally opened up all the presents, and was just enjoying time with my sweet girl friends, I got the call....The same call I got the weekend before....the call I have learned to hate....Alayna Hope had fever of 102.4.......and regret set in....

So for any other kid in the world....Fevers aren't that big of deal...In fact, I even teach my students about the myths of fever and how they really can be treated at home and with medication, etc....However, for a Cancer Kid, fevers are a BIG DEAL. Anytime Alayna has a fever over 101 it means we have to be seen.  Because she has a port, a fever could mean her port has an infection.  Also, because chemo typically kills off the good fighter blood cells, there is a huge risk for infections that her body doesn't have the ability to fight off...This is why she can't be around anyone sick or go to school or be in the nursery at church, and we have to constantly check her....However, certain chemotherapies will cause fever.  On friday she started a new chemo, ARA-C, which comes in the form of a shot (which we have to give her) or through her IV.  Well Saturday morning we gave her the shot and my rockstar husband, with some nursing advice ha, even gave it to her....about 4 hours later is when she spiked the temp.....So not only did she have the LP with methotrexate, but she also had the ARA-C....which pretty much was setting us up for a fever...Since our clinic days are on Friday, our oncologist office is closed, which means we have to go to the ER.......being a pediatric ER nurse myself, it is really no fun to have to go there....we have to put numbing cream on her port, pack our bags (which I am learning to just not unpack ever), find a place for Addyson to hang out, and head straight there......Its really not how I planned to spend the last weekend before Avery comes....

Sadly, we haven't had great experiences in the ER and Saturday night was no exception.  We ended up waiting over 7 hours and we were finally admitted at 2:30AM to the hematology floor.....Our ANC was actually very good, but her blood level called her hemoglobin was critically low, 6.5, and we would need blood....so, there we were again, admitted to the hospital 

Hanging out in the ER with Mr. Chemo Ducky (He goes everywhere with us!)

Finally asleep around 10PM

Bored in the ER! His new name is Ronald Alom Shiek Baar. Have I mentioned he needs to trim 
Sunday Morning I was still aggravated from our ER experience and just found myself mad...Mad at our situation...Mad that we were all sleeping different places and couldn't be home as a family...Just mad that my daughter had leukemia and we were having to go through this and REALLY mad that we still don't have an offer on our house, even after we dropped the price of our house....I found myself wanting to complain, and realizing it was ok, I let the Lord know I wasn't happy with our situation....I texted some friends and they all gave me great encouragement...but the Lord knew I needed more...and he sent that to me in the form our an amazing message.   

My sweet friend Kristin Becnel, whose daughter fought cancer and won, and who I've talked about before, spoke at Bayside with her husband about having a bad day a few weeks ago and I have been trying to watch the message, but just had not been able to yet...Sunday morning I decided to go on a run and was watching or more like listening to the message as I ran....Here I am, 38 weeks pregnant, running down the road at a snail's pace, balling my eyes out, listening to her and Jordan's message....and it was exactly what I needed.....Just like us, they felt like they were chosen by God and found a purpose in Charlotte cancer journey...their message reminded me that this whole thing ISN'T ABOUT ME!!!! In fact, it's about the Lord working through us, and every life that hears our story has the chance to b changed...It took me 30 mins, an amazing message, and an awesome run on a beautiful day to snap me out of my funk, and allowed me to realize that the Lord can handle my anger...He already knew I was mad...and He has a purpose in all of this.....That afternoon I spent about an hour talking to our charge nurse on the floor about our ER experience, and in the end, we were both in tears, just talking about the Lord and all He had done for us.....It totally just solidified why we are going through this and I just have to keep believing our house will sell and God has the perfect buyers already lined up......if you have ever gone through anything or every had a bad day, I highly recommend listening to this message...and make sure you have a box of tissues with you


Isaiah 58:10-11 NIV 10 “...if you spend yourselves in behalf of the hungry and satisfy the needs of the oppressed, then your light will rise in the darkness, and your night will become like the noonday. 11 The Lord will guide you always; he will satisfy your needs in a sun-scorched land and will strengthen your frame. You will be like a well-watered garden, like a spring whose waters never fail. 

So today is Monday, and over the last few days we've been living in the hospital....So Thankful for Kelli and Tim watching Addy on Saturday night....I feel so torn because if we end up going to the ER,  I really don't like going without Ron....It just makes things easier when He's around....but I also feel bad because that means Addyson has to stay with friends....She is already staying with friends on Fridays and We have had amazing friends that have really stepped up and allowed her to hang out with their families, but I worry about her.....One of my new Mommy friends who has a daughter with ALL described it perfectly...it's like whiplash....you never really know if you will be in the hospital, clinic, or actually at home, and sadly Addyson can't really understand all of it, no matter how much we explain things....she's 4 and she hasn't been coping in the greatest way....but since Sunday we have been rotating shifts at the hospital...typically Ron spends the night with Alayna so I can sleep in a normal bed and hang out with Addy, I then take Addyson to school, and then he goes to work and picks up Addyson in the afternoons...he gets time with her and around bedtime we switch again....Although it works great for our girls...It's definitely not ideal for our marriage...but I have to remember it's all part of this season of life...I am really hoping we will get one last date night before Avery comes...but I guess that is up to the Lord....I truly am so thankful for a husband that not only supports me, but also goes above and beyond to support our family and love our girls..

Wagon Ride Fun

One crazy fun big Sister

We cannot leave the hospital till Alayna is fever free for 24 hours....today was the last day of her ARA-C and then we get Tuesday, Wed, Thursday off before we receive it again in the clinic....the one good thing about being in the hospital is that while she is in the hospital, she can get this drug through her port and we haven't had to give her the shots in her leg...Both her and I are very happy about that! Addyson has also been able to come up and spend time with Alayna, since this time around, we are not on contact precautions....Which has been great....The chemo she is on makes her feel like she has the flu and so she definitely has good moments and bad moments and hasn't been eating a lot...but thankful that the hospital food service keeps us stocked up on Guacamole because we know she will always eat that :) While I am here during the day, it's easy to go stir crazy.....This week my goal is to work on my Premier Jewelry Business....with all this going on, and a new baby on the way, I will not really be able to work (plus I am about to start maternity leave anyways), so I am so thankful to be a part of a company that will allow me to spend all day with my girls and then just leave occasionally at night and still have the chance to make great money, bless other women, and share our story in the process of it all!!! Hoping to get things up and going again soon! 

My sweet girl

So how can you pray for us??????

1. NO MORE FEVERS!!!!! I would love to get out of the hospital for a couple days, and have time to finish getting ready for Avery...we can only leave when she is fever free for 24 hours and today her fevers have been lower, but she typically spikes fevers at night so who knows when we will actually be discharged!!!! Also, please pray for no fevers in the coming weekend, and her body will learn to adapt to the new crazy chemo drugs...also as her hair thins, she is scratching like crazy and her head is very dry and cracking...it doesn't help that she can't have showers or baths while we are here, so pray we can find a solution and she will continue to not have many side effects from the chemo.....

2. PRAY THIS BABY WILL COME SOON!!!!! I am being induced next Monday, which I would love to not be induced...but considering our situation and that randomly going into labor, especially if we just happen to be in the hospital...doesn't work out so well, leaves us with not having much of an options.....I've basically just given up on going into labor on my own.....I've never actually gone into real labor on my own, and I was hoping this pregnancy would be the one time I could....Both Addyson and Avery had to be induced at almost 41 weeks, and the thought of waiting that long this time, especially since if I went to 41 weeks, it would be the same time when we know Alayna's counts will be super low, just does not seem ideal.  So next Monday Avery will receive her eviction notice....HOWEVER....I truly would love for her to come on her own....I read an article this week about how doing squats helps you prepare for labor...so I've been doing squats and trying to go run every day....being a part of different fitbit challenges might also have something to do with that as well lol.....I have tried having spicy food...you name it.....I am still believing that she will make her own grand entrance...but if you could join me in that prayer that would be awesome

3. OUR HOME! I know I say this every week....but y'all, we lowered the price and have had even less showings since we lowered the price...I just don't get it....A lot of people have asked me why we don't rent it out...but once again, we really need to sell it to be able to financially ok over the next 2 years of treatment...we also don't want to even deal with having renters in the middle of everything else we are going through....but 2 power bills, 2 water bills, paying for sewage on a house that doesn't have toilets being flushed...none of that is fun....at all....We are almost $20,000 below all the other comps so it just doesn't make sense to me...it's truly a gorgeous home....I know the Lord has a reason in all of it...but we are down to a week before Avery comes and we need a miracle...THIS WEEK!!!!!!! Please stand and believe with us that this will happen and our mountain will be moved in the next few days!!! 

Matthew 21:21
Then Jesus told them, “I tell you the truth, if you have faith and don’t doubt, you can do things like this and much more. You can even say to this mountain, ‘May you be lifted up and thrown into the sea,’ and it will happen. 22 You can pray for anything, and if you have faith, you will receive it.”

Also...we still have 2 fundraisers going on and we are so excited to have toddler sizes in our t-shirt fundraiser...Although I keep forgetting to actually order Addyson and Alayna's shirts...I know I need to do that, along with the 1000 other things I have been meaning to do! But check it out...I would love to see all the pictures of your little ones in their shirts and I can't wait to hear all the stories that will come from people wearing the shirts and hearing our story!!!! I just know the Lord is going to continues to show up and show off! Check it out here Prayers for Alayna Hope T-shirts

Finally
4. Prayers for Nesting Needs and a Date Night.....
I know this is a silly request but I would really just love to finish up everything before Avery comes home...Ron was able to paint Avery's new dresser and ours too and it looks amazing...pictures coming soon....My Mom has worked so so so hard on the nursery, and she will be bringing every thing with her when she comes, but I would love to finish decorating the nursery and getting the last few things of our list and registry we need before she comes...Also...since Ron and I are swapping places every day, we really haven't had much time together...we are praying for one last date night before we become a Party of 5, and are believing the Lord will provide a way for us to have this happen...I need time with my man ha! 

Ron got the dresser painted right before her fever spiked

Thank you all so much for your continued support and stay tuned for the next blog....My good-looking Husband, with a crazy beard, has been working on a blog and I cannot wait for y'all to ready it!!!

Trusting in the beautiful and complete.....
Jen

Current Fundraisers
There's also a Usborn books fundraiser going on...check out the the link on my Facebook

After the 15th there will also be a Thirty One Fundraiser! 

LOVE YALL! 


Wednesday, March 2, 2016

The Results ARE IN AND Our God is a faithful God in everything


                                                 

“And so I tell you, keep on asking, and you will receive what you ask for. Keep on seeking, and you will find. Keep on knocking, and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks, receives. Everyone who seeks, finds. And to everyone who knocks, the door will be opened.”
Luke 11:9-10 NLT

This right here is one happy girl. This is a girl who was given an earthly diagnosis but who serves a Heavenly God. Today was a day I will never forget. No matter what the results were going to be, we knew the Lord would still be in control. We would continue to sing of His faithfulness. This however, is also a girl with no leukemia in her body!!!! Our nurse saw us today and asked us one simple question, "How do you feel about 0%?!?" 

And the tears started rolling...


We are less than 0.01%!!!!!! That means there is no leukemia in Alayna's blood or on the microscopic level!!!!

So this means she is in complete remission and we will stay High Risk!!!!

Does this mean treatment ends? 

No.... We will still have to complete the 2.5 years of treatment to ensure complete remission and cure rate with no relapse. But staying high risk means we do not have to be bumped up and treatment will not increase in intensity. 

Our hearts are happy. We had an amazing time on our BabyMoon this week, and we were so thankful to get time together as a couple and it really was amazing...Thanks to our sweet friends for watching our girls....We have a LONG road ahead of us, with many ups and downs I am sure....but through it all the Lord will sustain us!!!! Please keep sharing our story and keep the prayers coming. 

Right now our big prayers are as follows
1. That Alayna will meet counts and we will be able to start CONSOLIDATION on Friday, the next phase of treatment. Also that her liver enzymes and blood count will be back to normal. We might need blood tomorrow so we are waiting on results....Three days of clinic days in a row....Bring on the Starbucks...

2. OUR HOUSE HAS TO SELL!!! We lowered the price of our house, although I wasn't super happy about it, but financially it is a must. Having two house payments is really challenging and is really hard when Ron and I are not able to work like normal. So financially, with a new baby coming, it's huge!Here's the link with the new price reduction! Praying for a bidding war so the price cut doesn't really effect anything!!! Our Beautiful House

3.  Pray for the perfect timing of Avery coming and that she will come on her own, without having to be induced. This has definitely been my prayer. I'm fine with induction but would love to just go into labor on my own. I am very umcomfy and just ready for this next phase of our life to start. Three girls, one a newborn, one with cancer, & one super strong willed. Prayers are definitely going to be needed lol. So excited to also celebrate Avery this weekend as my friends throw us a sprinkle/shower. I have missed seeing people at church and so I am so excited to see friends and celebrate my sweet girls!! Hope to see y'all there

4. Pray for this next phase, CONSOLIDATION. There's a risk for lots of fevers and possible drug interactions. We are praying for no side effects, no nausea, no weakness, and no more hair loss!!! One drug, Peg, is known to cause anaphylaxis and she will get that on day 15 and 29, so we are praying against that! So pray with us. 

Thank you so much all the support and prayers! We have been blown away by the go fund me account and believe the Lord will keep continuing to provide. We have had a few scares with insurance, and finances are always a challenge, but hopefully they will get all worked out! Also we have 3 days left of Tshirts sales so make sure you order yours before you can't!!! 

“I have told all your people about your justice. I have not been afraid to speak out, as you, O LORD, well know. I have not kept the good news of your justice hidden in my heart; I have talked about your faithfulness and saving power. I have told everyone in the great assembly of your unfailing love and faithfulness.”
Psalms 40:9-10 NLT

We love you all and are so thankful for the prayers and that we are truly on the way to our #BeautifullyComplete 




Thursday, February 25, 2016

Steroids, Screams, Some Scares and Smiles sometimes mixed in between!


This last week and a half has been a steady week, a challenging week, and a little crazy in the midst of it all....

For me personally, it involved a lot of working....That's one blessing for sure.....Although Ron has not been able to work very much, at least the Lord has given me the strength to keeping pressing on, despite being super pregnant and with everything else going on....

Last week we had a surprise visit from Pop Kid and Paw Paw.....I worked another 12 hour shift on Tuesday and it was a crazy day...For some of you that live in other states, our area is running rampent with the Flu....working in a pediatric ER, where I am constantly exposed to it, pretty much makes me worried....I have been wearing a mask...but knowing that I have a sick baby at home makes it way worse...Not to mention, working 12 hour shifts in a crazy busy pediatric ER, well....that made me super moody especially all week last week....I have to admit I had a few moments where I just lost it and needed to kind of run away....but I managed to do that, thanks to my amazing husband

Time with Pop Kidd and Paw Paw (not pictured)
MY SuperGirl

Thursday I ended up teaching and we had a minor scare.....All day I was having contractions....and they were super close together and kind of painful....none of my other babies have ever come without getting an eviction notice....so I find it hard to believe Miss Avery will come on her own...but after all day long contractions, I ended up at the hospital to be monitored....My midwife is great and was really the one who pushed me to go in....After about 4 hours, we realized I was definitely having contractions...and consistent contractions...but I was not actually changing me or causing me to do any more dilating....we found out I am 1cm and 60% effaced, but not much more....Already that's more than I was with Addy and Alayna, but I still don't think she will come on her own.  With the craziness of treatment, I have decided it's ok for me to be induced, and that it is ok, especially since we are trying to plan things around treatment...Now obviously she will come when she wants, but hoping to be able to be kind of prepared and that my mom will actually make it for the delivery...

Fun Times in L&D

Avery looked Great!

With all the working, it made time fly by and by Friday it was time for clinic.  Our clinic visit was actually pretty laid back! We didn't need any blood and we didn't get any crazy news, so it was nice just to have a normal Friday...and weird that clinic is our new normal Friday...I left and ended up having my last day of teaching in the hospital and was so glad to have a great last day! Also, my amazing students blessed us with super sweet gifts, including a date night, and a coloring book for me for the hospital! They said it would help reduce my stress...They seriously were so willing to go with the flow, and for that, we are all so thankful! It was truly a blessing, sticking it out. and continuing to teach, despite the circumstances!!! 

Great Clinic Day
Saturday we had a great family day.  My sweet Sister in Love and my twin brother came into town, and we got to spend the day with them.  Amanda (amandasueannecom) has been wanting to take pictures of our family for a while, and I was so blessed by her, because she got to take pictures of us and she even did some maternity pictures for our nursery! She is amazing photographer and so we felt so blessed to not only have amazing pictures, but to spend much needed time with our family...I will post a folder on Facebook with all the pictures...but here's a few of my favorites....


Nickless Life

This picture could not better some up this time of our life

Love my sweet Big Girl


My sweet girls

just love this one

Another favorite

Swollen but still smiling

yes he's good looking even with the beard


that one tear

My sweet girls

Miss Avery Grace

love!


Sunday was also another great day! I was able to help lead worship at church and we had a fun day just spending time with family as well.  My husband has been encouraging to sing a lot before this new baby comes, and I am so thankful for him, because he really just thrives when he's able to serve at church...so it's a hard choice to figure out whose going every week..but thankful for our friends who help us out so we can go together on Sunday nights! And it's way fun jumping around worshiping this far into my pregnancy!!!

Sunday Singing and Super Preggo




The rest of the week was truly spent just adapting to life on steroids....We have been giving steroids twice a day, to help fight Alayna's leukemia, and the steroid life is so hard....She wakes up multiple times a night, after being such a good sleeper before all of this, wanting to eat...she is moody and irritable and downright mean...She is obsessed, beyond belief, with Taco Bell, and I am so thankful for $1 Chicken Quesadillas or I would go broke....The mean attitude is super hard on Addyson....and the swelling....don't even get me started on the swelling....it has been so hard to see her change right in front of my eyes.....She has gained over 5lbs and for this Mama's heart, it's been so hard to see her become this other person...she doesn't even look liker herself to me...so it's really been hard...I literally have been counting down the moments and doses,  and tonight we got to give our sweet girl her last dose for a long time....She will have to take steroids again later in treatment, but never for longer than a week, so the swelling should not be as bad.....I am definitely ready to have my sweet girl back, even though she is pretty cute as a butter ball...




Sweet girls with sweet hats from friends at preschool

Tuesday we also had a lab check up, and once again our counts keep rising, and we didn't need blood, although we did need some fluids...proabably because the steroids are raising her sugar level. We also haven't had as much movement on our house, but we got amazing news on Tuesday.  We found out HGTV has chosen our house for a story in their May issue of their magazine as part of a story on homes across the country! This was a huge honor, and although it won't release till May, it was encouraging.  We still have not had any offers....And this is so aggravating.....there's a lot of pressure to lower the price of our house and I am personally having a hard time with that.  I just want the Lord to sell our house, without having to lower the house.....We even had another relator this week comment about how our house was priced way lower than other comparable houses....so we are faced with a choice to lower the price, or keep having to pay utilities and a mortgage for a house that no one is living in....So please continue to pray for us in this situation and just that we would have wisdom.....We have decided to wait to lower the price till the end of the month and pray about it till then.....Tomorrow we have another showing so we are hoping for good news tomorrow!

Having to wear her a lot because she is just so heavy


Deutoronmy 8:1
Be careful to obey all the commands I am giving you today. Then you will live and multiply, and you will enter and occupy the land the Lord swore to give your ancestors. Remember how the Lord your God led you through the wilderness for these forty years, humbling you and testing you to prove your character, and to find out whether or not you would obey his commands. Yes, he humbled you by letting you go hungry and then feeding you with manna, a food previously unknown to you and your ancestors. He did it to teach you that people do not live by bread alone; rather, we live by every word that comes from the mouth of the Lord. 


Tomorrow is a HUGE DAY for us....Tomorrow is our day 29....the last day of Induction Therapy...Tomorrow we will have another bone marrow biopsy and aspiration, along with another Lumbar Puncture where they will place chemo in her spine....we will also get IV chemo and the labs will be drawn to determine our risk stratification.....Although we will not actually receive results till next Wednesday, tomorrow is huge......We are praying the leukemia on the microscopic level will be 0.01%!!!!! We know that God can do this and we are going into this day expecting it! We know we are already high risk, but if the value is not below 0.01%, we will then be placed into Very High Risk....I feel like Daniel and His 3 friends, because yes we know the Lord can allow this to happen....but EVEN IF HE DOESN'T, we are still trusting and believing for Alayna's healing, making her beautifully complete....

Daniel 3:16
16 Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego replied, “O Nebuchadnezzar, we do not need to defend ourselves before you. 17 If we are thrown into the blazing furnace, the God whom we serve is able to save us. He will rescue us from your power, Your Majesty. 18 But even if he doesn’t, we want to make it clear to you, Your Majesty, that we will never serve your gods or worship the gold statue you have set up.”


So overall, things have been consistent and steady, and challenging all in one....Next week is an off week with no medicines and just the chance to help Alayna's counts rise so we can start the next phase of treatment next Friday....CONSOLIDATION!!! Ron ended up bartering some work with a sweet friend who has Disney Vacation Club Points and so we are actually going to get a one night BabyMoon early in the week next week at Animal Kingdom Lodge...which has always been my dream to go to and we will have finally get to have a date night and to have a night away before new baby comes....To say I am excited is an understatement....we will get results on Wednesday, so it will be a great distraction to help me not worry about our results...Also, if our counts are good on Wednesday, we might get to spend a little time with Alayna at Disney Thursday before her counts really start to drop in her next phase....

We received an amazing package today from our sweet friends in the Children's ER 

We have also been blessed by so many people having fundraisers for us, and financially with all that has been going on with the house, and the medical bills starting to come in, it's so encouraging to have the help from friends and family....Currently we have the following fundraisers....

Our t-shirt fundraiser only has about 2 weeks lefts...These adorable shifts are a great way to give and receive something super fun that will help us share our story with the world and give God all the glory....checkout our  Booster T-shirt Fundraiser

Also, we love that Alayna's middle name and second name is HOPE, because we are truly believing and standing on the Lord's Hope in our lives!!! Check out our necklace fundraiser Premier Hope Necklaces for Alayna Hope

Another sweet friend has an amazing headband company through instagram called adiandezzie‬....she is donating 10% of her profits towards Alayna...these headbands are super cute and we cannot wait to show them off! Feeling so blessed for this adorable fundraiser...check her stuff out...it's amazing!!!

Also we still have the GOFUND ME fundraiser going on and continue to be blown away by those who have given...this account is being used for this year's medical bills we have coming in....and it's scary, but so encouraging to know the Lord has already provided so much! Alayna Hope's GoFund ME

HERE'S OUR PRAYER FOCUSES

1. FIRST AND FOREMOST!!!! We are believing for the 0.01% MRD results that we will get tomorrow!!! Although we won't know results till Wednesday, we are believing we might even have favorable cells, which would be a complete miracle from the Lord, since we didn't have any on day 8! Join with us in praying that she will be at this level, which would put her in COMPLETE REMISSION!!!! Although it wouldn't stop treatment, it would set us up for a more successful treatment plan and better risk stratification!!!! 

2. That our house would sell and we would at least receive an offer WITHOUT having to lower the price.....and that we would make the right decisions in all of this....we found out just this week we are having to pay $80 a month for sewer that we are clearly not even using and there's no way to turn it off, so the bills for this beautiful house keep adding up, and we NEED THE LORD TO SELL IT ASAP! Please also continue sharing the Zillow link and telling your friends about this gorgeous home that now, even HGTV has selected as a model home! Our lovely house for sale

3. Pray that our counts will continue to rise and we will be able to start treatment for Consolidation next Friday....and that we will be able to actually enjoy a night away from our girls....with no fevers or sickness while we are gone!!!! And pray for our sweet friends who will be watching our girls!

4. Pray for Alayna's swelling, appetite, and attitude, and that these steroids will quickly exit her system.  Also that she will return to our sweet girl we know she still is, and quicker than normal!!! And for this Mama and Daddy's heart and sanity in all of it...it's hard to wake up in the middle of the night and we are tired.  We know that with a new baby coming, that will start happening, but hopefully Alayna can go back to a great sleeper before new baby comes....And just that the swelling will go down even quicker than expected for this Mama's heart!

5. Pray for the timing of Avery....I found out this week I won't be allowed to be induced till 39 weeks, which is totally understandable...I was not wanting to be induced at all, but with all this going on, I realized it's ok for me and I need to just be ok with having to plan things based on Alayna's treatment...but I am soon uncomfortable and getting bigger by the day.....so it truly would be pretty amazing for Avery to come in her own timing, and in the right timing!!! We are constantly praying that the Lord knows better than we know and are going to be excited to welcome her whenever she does choose to come around! So prayers against the pain and discomfort, and that we can also get all we need to done before she comes...nesting is in full swing for sure!!! Psalms 139 has been such an encouragement to me this week....you should all go read it...but here's some of my favorite parts of it
Psalms 139

You watched me as I was being formed in utter seclusion,
    as I was woven together in the dark of the womb.
16 
You saw me before I was born.
    Every day of my life was recorded in your book.
Every moment was laid out
    before a single day had passed.
17 
How precious are your thoughts about me,[b] O God.
    They cannot be numbered!
18 
I can’t even count them;
    they outnumber the grains of sand!
And when I wake up,
    you are still with me!



Thank you all so much for following us along on this journey....our testing starts at 8:00AM so this Mama definitely needs sleep.....Keep sharing our story......we love already hearing about the lives that have been impacted by our Sweet Alayna Hope.....WE love you all and will update again when we get amazing results on Wednesday along this journey to our #BeautifullyComplete









Monday, February 15, 2016

High Risk, High Fever's, and High Hope that outweighs them all....

Another week of induction complete.....Another week since I last blogged....and once again...this one might be a long one just because it's been a crazy week....so hopefully we can be better about the updates.....

We have officially survived 17 days of induction (Which they call the hardest part) and only have 11 days left!!! Praise the Lord!!! After 17 days on steroids, which are given in high doses twice a day, and act as an oral cancer agent to destroy all the bad chemo cells, I have a very moody, super hungry, tired girl, who still has these moments of cuteness and smiles, but there are definitely moments of craziness in our house....Poor Ron, it's like having two pregnant women in one place with cravings, moodswings, and weight gain.....Definitely fun in the Nickless house....

Kissy faces are her favorite
So last week ended up continuing to improve after the weekend and Alayna got to spend a lot of time with Daddy....I am still working at the hospital ( I only have 3 more shifts before maternity leave) and teaching for UCF (only 3 more days as well) and I have been so thankful....my students have really been so understanding in this entire situation and I have really enjoyed still teaching, in spite of everything...I have also gotten to teach some in the evenings, so we can still do chemo on Fridays and I have loved having my sweet girls at home.....

I knew over the last weekend, or I thought at least, that her counts had dropped because she was extremely fussy, but we were still able to get to the park one day (since outside is mostly ok!) and, of course, with Daddy, she had a lot more energy....Needless to say, I was ready to see what Friday would hold at the clinic


At least someone likes green beans 

Fun PJ's from Tiffany and Aunt Lisa and amazing Mini blanket made by Trissi

So thankful for our awesome preschool, Community Alliance Preschool, who has just been awesome about having Addy on a crazy schedule. and she has enjoyed going to school more now that things are so crazy...Also, so thankful for Christine once again, because she has been having sleepovers with Addyson on Thursday nights since our clinic days have been so early...

Friday's clinic went relatively well...Alayna, once again with help from our awesome childlike specialist Lauren, was a rockstar having her port accessed and didn't even cry! Lauren showered us with awesome headbands and fun while we waited what seemed like hours on end for our platelets....Alayna once again needed platelets (which is the part of the blood that helps hold everything together or the "sticky"part, and this is also is the part of the blood that if it is low, she will get bad bruises) but didn't need packed red blood thankfully! However we did get some challenging news..
Cuddling with Mama before she left for work

Waiting Room Fun

new headbands

Originally we were placed in the Standard Risk category and would receive standard treatment.  This meant most of our treatment would be done in the clinic, or at home.  Our doctor really believed we would stay Standard Risk, and we were also praying we might even drop to Low Risk, but knew that chances weren't as great for that..HOWEVER, we would trust and believe no matter what the outcome would be....When we started this whole process, in Bug's blood she had 80% blast cells, or leukemia cells.....well on day 8 when we had our lumbar puncture to check her spinal fluid for leukemia, which PRAISE THE LORD! was negative.  They also drew regular, or peripheral blood....Well Friday, we got the day 8 results, and instead of 80-100% blast cells, she now only has 1.3% blast cells which is AWESOME!!!! However, to stay in standard risk, she needed to be at 1% or lower.....so.....that means, on day 29 of induction, when we need to be at 0.01% or less, that she might not be, and even if she is, we will become High Risk because of the day 8 blood results.....I was shocked....seriously only .3% difference....And like our awesome doctor explained, if it was up to him, he would say, 0.3% really not a big deal...but since the protocols and research is standardized, and we are part of a clinical trial, there's no way around it....
Psalms 16:8
I have set the Lord always before me,
Because He is at my right hand I shall not be moved.

SO WHAT DOES HIGH RISK MEAN???
Well basically, during our first interim maintenance phase, (about 9-10 weeks from now), instead of taking chemo at home orally, now we will be spending 4-5 days at a time in the hospital and receive high dose chemotherapy in IV form, and have to wait for our counts to rise before we can be discharged home...and we have to do this 4 different times...With higher doses of chemo comes more challenges....like the potential for stronger side effects...risk for infection, more mouth sores....BUT WE SERVE A BIG GOD and we know that with all these challenges, it's just another chance for God to show up and to show off.  We know that she is going to continue to just keep pressing on with no side effects....It also means that we will have to depend on others more, because by then, we will have a newborn and Addyson as well, and that is so hard for us....we are doers....so it's so hard to ask for help and depend on other people...but obviously the Lord is changing that as well....

Isaiah 41:10
Don’t be afraid, for I am with you.
I will strengthen you and help you.
I will hold you up with my victorious right hand.
Don’t be discouraged, for I am your God.

So after finding that out, and having a challenging teaching day on Friday, my amazing hubby decided I should attend the women's event at Action and I am so glad I did! We watched war room, which I had not seen, and Mrs. Ellen Dailey gave an awesome message.   It was so awesome to just see people and be encouraged.  Mrs. Ellen and I were talking after the movie and she gave me this amazing reminder to cling to about the Israelites.  Every morning the Lord always sent Mana...and it was always the perfect amount...some families took more than other families...but it was always based on need and the Lord ALWAYS provided just the right amount...It seems simple, but it was was such an encouragement, and I know that the Lord will continue to provide for us...just this week alone we have been blown away by different blessings from people: letter's, packages, financial support, you name it...the Lord continues to provide...thanks so much to all who have given on the go fund me and other outlets too!!! here's the go fund me link and one day I will be able to personally thank everyone who have given...one day....

Friday night my sweet Premier Mama and dear friend Danielle came into town, and Saturday morning I got to spend some time with my amazing Premier daughters and sweet friends....which was also amazing..but around 11:45 I got the dreaded text....Buggy had a fever of 101.6, which meant only one thing...we would have to go to the ER....fevers are pretty common after chemo but with Alayna's levels already so low, so any little cough or cold could really make her sick...that is why we have to be so careful about germs....we had yet to have to go to the ER, and this was not what we were expecting...but I am slowly learning that planning is impossible when dealing with cancer and all we can do is trust....so thankfully to the AMAZING Althof Family....because of them, Addyson got another fun spend the night party that night, and Ron and I headed to the ER with Alayna...

When we got to the ER her fever had dropped, but she quickly started to decline...her heart rate was beating way too fast, she was breathing very fast, and she was clearly symptomatic.....They quickly accessed her port without any tears or trouble (once again, Rockstar little girl!) and then the waiting began....The ER experience was definitely not one of our greatest moments, in any regard, but I am so thankful that it happened, because I finally got to be on the other side of an ER room, waiting, expecting certain care, and being constantly surprised with a certain standard of excellence I have come to expect, and may or may not have seen....so we finally got to our awesome 4th floor oncology  floor and things started looking up....we got to see one of our doctors and found out this admission would be at least a 48 hour stay....We quickly got results and everything was coming back negative....labs were ok...flu negative, RSV negative, chest X-ray looked great and urine was fine too (yes, she pee pee'd on the potty for us!  SO AWESOME! It's the little things!) We had a really tough night the first night, because she was still running some fevers and just so uncomfortable...she also came back rhino/entero virus positive....which sounds so scary and bad...but really it just means that she has a common cold and we probably all would test positive for it, but with her counts so low, a common cold could really knock her down and make her very sick....it also meant we had to be placed on contact isolation...and that we can't really leave the floor....which has been a challenge...Alayna loves to go to the train, playground, and playroom, and it helps to get her up and moving, which is now not allowed, so it's been a challenge



That Saturday night I actually got a text from my boss from the defibrillator company  I work for and they needed someone to see a patient in the Arnold Palmer ER....ummm, hello...I was already in that same ER.....I ended up seeing the sweetest patient and got to talk to her parents and even share our story with them...all while waiting to be get situated in our room, and by the end of everything, I was not only able to help them with her Lifevest, but also able to talk about the Lord and all He was doing in our lives.....and even make a little money.....if that isn't the Lord, I don't know what is....and the Lord continues to allow crazy stories like that to happen, just as a simple reminder that He's got us taken care of!!!!

Sunday morning we realized why she was so miserable.... Her hemoglobin dropped to 6.5, which meant she would need more blood....So for Valentine's Day, Alayna got some lovely red blood and a coloring book from Daddy, and Mommy got roses and chocolate.....Not sure when we will get to cash in on the raincheck for a Valentine's Day Dinner Date, but hey, at least I have some really cute, sweet, Valentines! Daddy and I switched places and Mommy was also able to go to church and sing that afternoon...I wrestled back and forth with going, knowing I needed to be with her, but since Ron was with her, I knew that getting to Action, and worshipping in His presence was truly the best thing I could do for her, for us, for everyone....so I was glad I went....Sunday night I also got to spend some quality time with Addyson and we really got to talk about everything going on....I got some great advice about explaining things to her from another ALL mom and I think she is finally starting to understand what is going on....She is also scared about Alayna loosing her hair...but I was able to show her some pictures of how cute Alayna was without her hair as a baby and I think that helped.....

35 weeks oh my goodness

Mommy Addy Date

During my devotion this morning, (Monday), after 8 hours of glorious sleep (even Addy slept in!) the Lord really spoke to me...I read a couple different devotions today they seriously all talked about the same thing....Moses andAbraham...and their faith.....and their righteousness.....Abraham and Moses were not righteous men because of their talents or skills...no, they were righteous because of their faith in the Lord....."When God wants to get a job done, he calls the workers, and He equips them to do it.  He also calls others to come alongside to help.  He will give you what you need.  He will equip you for the task He has given you to do.  He always equips those He calls.  No matter the task.  God will put into you what He wants to get out of you" (From First5 Devo).  Also, with Abraham, "He didn't allow his circumstances to decide his faith; He resiliently chose to let God's words ring true in his heart and mind.  He trusted God to be faithful to His promises...Not only did Abraham receive God's promises as true, but he worshipped God for those promises! Even before God fulfilled His promises to Abraham...."(From my Daring Faith Bible App devo)

Romans 4:20-24
Abraham never wavered in believing God’s promise. In fact, his faith grew stronger, and in this he brought glory to God. 21 He was fully convinced that God is able to do whatever he promises. 22 And because of Abraham’s faith, God counted him as righteous. 23 And when God counted him as righteous, it wasn’t just for Abraham’s benefit. It was recorded24 for our benefit, too, assuring us that God will also count us as righteous if we believe in him, the one who raised Jesus our Lord from the dead.

In your life, I don't know what challenges you are facing.  Clearly you know ours....but I do know one things....God called us to this life...He knew we would be placed High Risk...He knew things wouldn't be easy...He knew this weekend Alayna would have a fever and that I needed to be in that ER, and that I would see another patient who would need my help....We've been called and chosen for this life....Was it one we wanted?...of course not...I could complain...I could be miserable...and so can you...but what's the point?...it doesn't change things....in fact, it only makes things more challenging...but realizing that we are fighting against the devil, and that the Lord has already won, that the Lord has given us EVERYTHING we will need to fight this battle...that He's calling us to something deeper and stronger...and is going to equip us along the way...It's actually pretty amazing....He choose us....He knew we could do it....so in the midst of the storm.....We are choosing, once again, joy and to trust....

We pray the Lord will speak to you all through all of this and you will be encouraged knowing that whatever it is, the Lord has got it.....don't be afraid.....
Continued Prayer List
1. Pray for 0.01% for the MRD result on day 29!!!! This is our biggest prayer.  This will place Alayna in complete remission and will also allow her to stay High Risk, and not get bumped to Super High risk....WE CLAIM THIS AND KNOW SHE WILL BE COMPLETELY HEALED......

2. Prayers for no more fever, and continued counts to rise....if we can stay fever free over the next 24 hours we can be discharged tomorrow!!! We are definitely ready to be back home as a family!!!! Today's Hemoglobin was 11.3...the highest it's ever been since diagnosis, and our WBC (White Blood Cell Count, and what fights infection) was 1.1, so things are looking better

3. Prayers for movement on our house....Last week we had a big open house and have had lots of showings since then and also what appears to be lots of interest...but still no offers.....we are praying for an OFFER ASAP!!!! Like this week....and if more than one came in that would be even better and something the Lord could totally do....some feedback from the showings suggested having our house staged, so that people could see how the living room and dinning room would flow...but honestly, it's not something that seems even possible based on being here all the details and cost behind it...so prayers that people can see the vision of our house without having to pay to have it staged!

4. Continued financial blessings and support...it's amazing how something like a Starbucks giftcard or Chickfila or Taco Bell gift card can mean so much to us.....(Yes, I crave Taco Bell...but I do eat some of their healthy options lol) and it has been such a blessing to Alayna to receive fun gifts....today Hugz from Bugz came and visited....you should check out this amazing organization hugzfrombugz.org/...they do gift bags and help raise support in central Florida...we have loved getting to know this sweet family whose daughter fought ALL and won!!!! Although Alayna doesn't look excited in this picture....she was showered with love today and has been having such a fun time with new toys...they even brought matching Minnie Mouse dolls for Addyson and Laney Bug and beautiful sterling silver Minnie necklaces that also match Haley's necklace for both girls....it was so awesome to talk to them and be encouraged by their jouney....

Haley Bugz  and Laney Bug Finally Meet

Rocking our Hugz from Bugz hat (and duck dynasty beard)

5. Pray for this Mama's heart as Alayna's hair continues to break off and her cheeks get chubbier and chubbier....I know it's just part of the process and after steroids, her cheeks and belly will go back down....but we still have about 10 days of steroids and the steroid rage is hard on everyone....especially Mama and Addy...who gets the blunt of most of the screaming and meanness....currently Alayna has been craving guacamole....today alone she has had like 5 little sides of it.....thankfully APH has awesome guacamole and keeps us well stocked....

Hair Shampoo and Salon with Daddy (And more hair falling out)

The sweet moments make up for all the bad
6. Prayers for Mama as we are now about 4 weeks away from Avery being here....pain and stretching....swollen feet....and a whole lot to do to get ready, is kinda stressing me out....as well as the thought of weeks in the hospital with Alayna and Avery.....My sweet friends told me this week they are hosting a sprinkle of Avery on March 5th and that just means so much...because in the middle of all this, it's so easy to forget we are having a new baby...but they fact that our sweet Action Family is doing this is just awesome, and even gave me a reason to register at Target, which I probably never would have done...and its gives me excitement in all of this...but I know once again the Lord will gives us strength and praying for one of the most laid back, best sleeping, babies ever....How ironic that we choose Grace for her middle name...since that is definitely something we will need in the middle of all of this.....

Selfies for Days are her favorite

And still she keeps smiling....
Finally, we have a sweet friend Natalie, whose daughter recently fought cancer and won as well....well, she and her sister have an amazing eye for design and have worked for DAYS on designing us a fundraiser T-shirt for Alayna....and it is amazing!!!!! Natalie volunteered her time and creativity, and also worked so hard with the t-shirt company to make sure we had an amazing design and product....These shirts are available in short and long sleeves...and they are SOOOO awesome!!!! Here's the link and I will also post it on my Facebook...Please share with all your friends....we would love these t-shirts to be an outlet for our story, so others can be encouraged and be forever changed because of what the Lord is doing in our lives...... So excited to see all our friends and family in these awesome shirts....thanks again to Natalie sooooo much!!!!

BEAUTIFULLY COMPLETE T-SHIRTS

Until we next time, living on HighHope, Trust, and a whole lot of of coffee....we love y'all....