He’s Too Good To Not Believe

Isn’t it interesting how whenever the Lord really seems to be moving in our lives, that’s often times when crazy things start happening? I cannot wait to tell you the story of how we’re ending up in our new house, that journey and all the Lord has done for us, but in the meantime, let me tell you another story…

When you have a kid who had cancer, you celebrate every single day that she is healed and whole. There’s this faith you are almost forced to find. But it’s not a guarantee. And there are moments where the enemy might try to rear his ugly head and start to shake that faith. Since Laney has been off treatment, I can only think of maybe one or two other times that faith was shaken, but it was around the time that God was really moving in our lives. 

Sometimes symptoms start to show up, that seem all-too-familiar. Excessive bruising, general feelings of tiredness, some subjective fever, and swollen lymph nodes. None of these things are really normal, but they are especially not normal when those were the signs that told you your daughter had cancer. Over the last week or so we’ve just noticed different things with Alayna. Specifically bruising and swollen lymph nodes. We are in the middle of our two closings and we’ve had a couple setbacks, I had a random wrist injury, car issues, some crazy news at work, and so many things happening, but overall we are full force ahead and planning to close on one house on Friday, and the other house the following Friday. So, of course the enemy would want to shake our faith, and these symptoms started popping up, and other things that really probably aren’t a big deal, but for Laney Bug and her history, could really be concerning.

So much so, my little beautiful miracle asked me, “Mama, do I have cancer again?” 

Immediately your heart stops beating, and as much as you assure her she doesn’t and she’s perfect, you, yourself start to wonder. Thankfully we have doctors and a team behind us that get it. That understand that feeling of, “I know she’s fine, but is she really?” They don’t mind the late night texts. They don’t mind when you just need to talk through everything one more time.  Eventually you just bite the bullet and go get blood work. And that is where we were at over the last 24 hours. You know and believe she is healed completely, but the Thomas within us all, just needs to know she really is. We texted some family and friends, I tried to rationalize my fears, we prayed. We really prayed. We knew, but we needed to know, if that makes sense?

“I’ve seen cancer disappear, I’ve seen metal plates dissolve, 

don’t you tell me He can’t do it, don’t you tell me he can’t do it….

You’re the wonder working God, all the miracles I’ve seen, 

you’re too good to not believe”

After a quick exam, some blood work, both the NP and our amazing doc walk in the room together. The see my face, and that fear in my eyes, because I have learned that when more than one doctor comes in, it’s never a good thing. They look at me and say, “No, no, no, she’s perfect. She’s ok….”

One huge sigh of relief, And then there’s that peace. They tell us, she is definitely fighting something, but she is still cancer free. No leukemia. Best words ever.

He truly is too good to not believe

There’s miracles every single day. Every single day we get to kick the Devil in the face. Every single day we have to find that faith. Sometimes our eyes have to see something of substance, even if our heart and mind know the truth. Sometimes we have these reminders, just so we can remember who He is, how much we need him, that

“…I don’t want to forget how this feels right now…” moment

At the end of the morning, after a Starbucks cake pop, of course, she bounced on into school for crazy sock day, and we continue towards closing on Friday. 

No one made me feel silly for asking for blood work. They saw the symptoms. They were there. But even when it looks bad, or even when things happen that we don’t understand, that don’t make sense, HE IS STILL GOOD. So thankful for family, friends, and doctors that walk this hard road with us. But more so thankful for such a good, good God. He truly is the wonder working God. 

I’m already loved

I’m already chosen

I know who I am

I know what He’s spoken

I don’t know what He has planned for us, what He has planned for Laney, but clearly He isn’t finished with us. He is faithful. He will give you that strength one way or the another. It may not be pretty how we get there, but we can trust in who He is and how much He loves us. I will continue to sing of His goodness, smile more, and praise Him for who He is. 

Thank you Jesus, thank you for letting us live in your goodness. Thank you for being enough. Thank you for our precious girl. May we never take your goodness for granted. Thank you for healing. Lord help us continue to make you known, whatever that looks like, even when we don’t know. 

You heal because you love, you’re too good to not believe

Find that faith, even if it isn’t pretty or easy, even if you can’t see it or feel it, it’s there. Believing you find it today…

Our new season, Our new regular....What is this thing called Maitenance?

Today it has been 10 months, 12 days, 5 hours, and 36 minutes since we received the worst news of our families life......

This has been 10 months, 12 days, 5 hours, and 36 minutes of survival...
10 months, 12 days, 5 hours, and 36 minutes of tears, fighting a battle, and moments of wonder
10 months, 12 days, 5 hours, and 36 minutes of constant medications, leg pain, port acesses, numbing cream, zofran, steroid life and steroid rage, vomiting, chemo after chemo, surgery, lumbar punctures, and hundreds of hours wondering and questioning what might happen and oh yea, the loss of hair, twice
BUT IT HAS ALSO BEEN 
10 months, 12 days, 5 hours, and 36 minutes of joy in the middle of sadness
10 months, 12 days, 5 hours, and 36 minutes of true friends and family stepping out and believing in us, with us, and praying like no one has ever prayed
10 months, 12 days, 5 hours, and 36 minutes of the Lord showing up and feeling His presence like we have never felt ever before

Honestly, I am not even sure how we made it
10 months, 12 days, 5 hours, and 36 minutes

Today a sweet friend of mine got some horrible news about her son and all of the memories of that first day, that first bone marrow aspiration, and the horrible nightmare it was, came flooding back to my mind....the fear, the sadness...the, "How can this be?".....the reminder of sitting in a parent's room on a red sofa, listening to casting crown's, "Just be Held" and thinking the tears would never stop.....
but feeling like the Lord's arms were truly wrapped around me
Even now I feel His sweet presence

Honestly, it feels like a blur....there are still moments where I am literally just seconds away from tears

We were so blessed that the Lord used our story again, this weekend, at Action Church, and I was reminded that the Lord never said it would be easy, but that He promised He would be with us....

Deuteronomy 31:8

Do not be afraid or discouraged, for the LORD will personally go ahead of you. He will be with you; he will neither fail you nor abandon you."
 

SO WHAT DOES THE NEXT 18 months, hundreds of days, thousands of hours look like....

Well, I'm honestly not sure....

See the thing is, although we are so thankful and completely rejoicing in the fact that Alayna is cancer free, sadly, our journey is not over....not be a long shoot....

Every single day it's multiple medications....Every day I have to learn to be a better Mama and learn how to not only love an incredible 5 year old little girl with a strong willed spirit, but also a 3 year old girl that has chemo and steroids rushing through her blood, and has become angry at times, and even destructive, while being the sweetest little angel the next moment....learning how to be there for a sweet 9 month old with the best little spirit ever and who could care less about crawling, or walking...but sure loves to eat and talk (yes, my daughter for sure!)

For 10 months, 12 days, 5 hours, and 36 minutes Ron and I had to put our passions for life and ministry on hold, and now we both have to try to find those passions again....

As we fall into some routine, and Alayna's hair has started growing like crazy, life almost feels normal......except not at all.....and that's ok....

Because in all of this, this was the Lord's plan.....when we moved here I clung to the verse,

Psalm 27:13, 

"I remain confident of this: I will see the goodness of the LORD in the land of the living."

And I still believe it to be true.....

Over the last 10 months, 12 days, 5 hours, and 36 minutes I have shared our story at least 100 times....I have found new friends who have become truly the women that just keep me going....I have found other cancer Mom's that have become like a sisterhood and truly just get it....God has blessed my business like never before and bills have been paid because of a little jewelry company.  Because of a hard working husband who keeps building and being blessed in his business, as well, our needs have been met, while I have worked less, we have had blessings, financially and as a family, that just don't make sense....

and I wouldn't want it any other way

Until you are faced with the choice, where the only way you can take another breath, is if the Lord gives you the strength.....well, I never want to live any other way.....Yes, it's been hard...it had been so unfair...but the Lord isn't done with us....

We have 18 months, hundreds of days, thousands of hours of medications, and pokey's, and tubey's and everything else, but that is just 18 months, hundreds of days, and thousands of hours, to only depend on the Lord....to find our passions again...to truly live a life in complete surrender...to make our family better, to make our marriage better....for me to speak into women's lives across the world....to tell anyone we can that, " You darling, you, are going to make it"

.....that God isn't done writing this story.....and I'm excited.....

So no, it's not over....and there are still huge financial needs, and addictions to coffee and sleep, and moments where we fail time and time again, but we have 18 months, hundreds of days, and thousands of hours to grow, to change, to become who Christ has finally called us to be....

Isaiah 40:27-30

Why would you ever complain, O Jacob,
    or, whine, Israel, saying,
“God has lost track of me.
    He doesn’t care what happens to me”?
Don’t you know anything? Haven’t you been listening?
God doesn’t come and go. God lasts.
    He’s Creator of all you can see or imagine.
He doesn’t get tired out, doesn’t pause to catch his breath.
    And he knows everything, inside and out.
He energizes those who get tired,
    gives fresh strength to dropouts.
For even young people tire and drop out,
    young folk in their prime stumble and fall.
But those who wait upon God get fresh strength.

Thank you so much for following our journey.....please keep sharing and praying and believing in our #BeautifullyComplete

amazing friends make life better

Best Birthday Ever because she can finally go to Chickfila again

A fun of food for sure

first time at Seaworld with my pirate

marathon training

jewelry ladies and amazing friendships

Mom's getaway and besties

our sweetheart

BASE CAMP FASHION SHOW! Seriously so thankful for Base Camp

handsome hubby

my little model

 

almost ready to crawl.....except not at all...lol

Beautifully Complete

Loving and Living in our season....

Monday mornings are typically cuddle days in our house. No one likes Monday mornings, and today is no different.

Laying in my bed still, at 10:11 AM, I could be thinking about everything I have to do and what needs to be done. But instead, I am resting in the Lord's presence. 

Two sweet babies lay asleep in my lap, and I am taking a second just to breathe. One of these sweet babies doesn't feel great. In fact, as we lay here, large chunks of her hair will remain in my lap once she awakes. Seeing her her hair thin and fall out breaks my heart into pieces. But what is worst than that is the struggle this phase has been. 

Everyone warned me that delayed intensification would be bad. They said its the worst. But honestly, I choose to avoid it. A few weeks ago I met with my sweet friend Mrs. Amy Bezet & was amazed as the Lord revealed so much to me in one simple afternoon together. She reminded me that I have to choose to live in "my season"....that the moment I try get to my next season is the moment I will miss out on all that God is doing in THIS current season.... So this morning I am drinking my coffee a little slower and taking it al in....

My sweet girls...

It has been almost 8 months since we were first diagnosed. When I look back on this journey, what all we've been through with hundreds of pokes, 13 different lumbar procedures, two surgeries, over 100 days in the hospital, and just as many in the clinic, receiving some form of blood prouducts over 20 times...it all just seems like too much for a sweet little girl who hardly ever cries or complains....

Momma of this awesome little warrior...

When I think about how the Lord has brought us out of paying two house payments, how He has provided for thousands of dollars in insurance and medical bills, how he's continued to allow us to serve Him and minister to so many through our businesses and our story, and how He has strengthened our family and marriage to a whole different level, I stand in awe of the Lord's goodness. One cancer mom told me she explains it like this...."Cancer is the hardest, worst thing, anyone will ever have to go through.  I wouldn't wish it one anyone, but I also wouldn't change it for the world..."

All of these groceries were bought with Jewelry Show money, along with half of our bills this month

But to be honest, it almost feels too good to be true. I think to myself, "How have we even been able to get through this?" When people ask how I am doing, I honestly have no other answer but to be thankful for a whole lot of coffee and even more Jesus... I find myself waiting for something bad to happen... Fear can over take my thoughts. I find myself in a place of insecurity, thinking what is going to happen next? Ron and I were talking last night and it's so easy to think about what could happen...to make up things in my mind that might happen...I think, "What is he/she/they saying bad or thinking bad about us?" I start to judge myself and wait for the next bad thing to happen....and all of that is just crazy. Satan wants me to live in fear and wonder....to focus on the negative. But Christ has redeemed us and continues to strengthen us. I have no reason to live in fear. He's given us life

Thank God for Dunkin Doughnut and Starbucks and Worship Music

Ya know, the apostle Paul talks to us so much about this. He talks about his struggles, but then places them on God's scales. Although Paul, and us along with him, may be waisting away inwardly, God's power was renewing him daily, and us as well...

“So we’re not giving up. How could we! Even though on the outside it often looks like things are falling apart on us, on the inside, where God is making new life, not a day goes by without his unfolding grace. These hard times are small potatoes compared to the coming good times, the lavish celebration prepared for us. There’s far more here than meets the eye. The things we see now are here today, gone tomorrow. But the things we can’t see now will last forever.”

2 Corinthians 4:16-18 MSG

http://bible.com/97/2co.4.16-18.msg

See the thing is, if I focus on how bad it has been,or the fact that we are so close to maintenance.... so close I can almost feel it....if I rush to be done, I will truly miss all the Lord has done, is doing, and will continue to do. I have to choose to not only live in this season, but to also LOVE this season. At the end of the day, I am faced with the constant and seemingly annoying struggle or "thorn in my side" if you will: 

THIS IS NOT ABOUT US

It never has been. It never will be.  We were chosen for this journey....The Lord knew we could handle it and we would grow, diamonds out of dust.....

Paul once again tells us that and reminds us that today is fleeting. I love how my first 5 devotional wrote it, 

"Despite all the difficulties Paul kept his hope in God and eternity’s value in view. He lived by faith and not by sight. He persevered and continued pointing people to Jesus. We are called to do the same.

In our own sufferings, we can use Paul’s words as pathways of assurance and encouragement: “For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all” (2 Corinthians 4:17)."

We have 1 week in part 1 of this phase, and then 4 more weeks in part 2. We are sooooo close to maintenance. And sure, maintenance isn't the end. It's not any over by any regard. It's just not as bad...it will mean less clinic visits, that we can go back to church and Laney can go back to school at some point...her hair will grow back.....it's still two more years of treatment but it will be more manageable...so yea, we are close to things being better, we really are. But instead of wishing it away, because it's hard when she constantly feels bad and complains "Mommy I don't feel good!" or "Mommy my tummy hurts!"...instead of thinking about how hard it hurts my heart that she is loosing her hair....or complaining because I don't get to see my friends like I used to or feel normal....instead of focusing on the negative....today I am reminding myself to Love this season...to take a breathe and enjoy two beautiful babies sleeping on my lap...

To feel blessed because sweet friends like Kelsey and Denver Darlings, who have given us super cute headbands to wear when her hair falls out....to feel thankful for sweet friends like Lisa and Christine who have helped us with Addy at the drop of a hat and have become some of my best friends who allow me just to call them when I need to just get out of this bubble we live in, the friends that never seem to complain about helping us.... friends like Cherie who not only let me talk and explain, maybe complain, but she has also given me amazing ideas to help Addy in this journey and spoil me with amazing cheesecake dates...friends like Danielle and Dave who will always pick up the phone and make efforts to spend time with us whenever they can...

Loving life group and the Jordans

Lunch Dates with our favs

Bestie Birthday Bash

To remember that every opportunity is a chance for us to share the Love of Christ and bring His hope to people who need to know....and that through all of this pain and the challenges, it will be worth it....my sweet friend Angeline, who is such an amazing prayer warrior and friend, always tells me that every single part of this journey is going to bring the Lord glory...and for us, if one life is changed for eternity because of Alayna, if one person is encouraged and reminded that they can keep pressing on, to feel that hope that she has, if our faith is made stronger.....it's all worth it in the end....

“I am the LORD, your Holy One, Israel’s Creator and King. I am the LORD, who opened a way through the waters, making a dry path through the sea. I called forth the mighty army of Egypt with all its chariots and horses. I drew them beneath the waves, and they drowned, their lives snuffed out like a smoldering candlewick. “But forget all that— it is nothing compared to what I am going to do. For I am about to do something new. See, I have already begun! Do you not see it? I will make a pathway through the wilderness. I will create rivers in the dry wasteland. The wild animals in the fields will thank me, the jackals and owls, too, for giving them water in the desert. Yes, I will make rivers in the dry wasteland so my chosen people can be refreshed. I have made Israel for myself, and they will someday honor me before the whole world.”

Isaiah 43:15-21 NLT

Continue to join us in praying for her, that she will feel better, that her counts will rise, that God will continue to provide work for Ron & jewelry shows for me, that Addyson will continue to feel loved, and for strength through this last hardest phase....we love y'all and thanks for always believing for our #BeautifullyComplete

Thy Will Be Done and the wait we wait...

As I sit here, in my best friend's house, the same house I was at the week before we were diagnosed, I'm reminded of memories.....Almost 4 months ago I was kinda stressed out about having a baby and paying 2 mortgages, and she asked me to come down and spend some time with her...she said the Lord told her to invite me but she wasn't sure why....well a week later we got our diagnosis.....

And here I sit again....with a beautiful sleeping baby beside me, waiting for a call to know if we have met counts or not.....As I think back over the last 4 months and how life has changed, I can't help but be blown away by all the Lord has done....in every moment I felt alone, God has done something, shown up in some big way....and I know he will continue to do the same thing...

Sweet cuddles

Deuteronomy 10:2New Living Translation (NLT)

21 He alone is your God, the only one who is worthy of your praise, the one who has done these mighty miracles that you have seen with your own eyes.

Once again, I am in the place where I don't know what is coming next....Our next phase of treatment is called INTERM MAINTENANCE .....aka..Hospital Time....because we were bumped to the High Risk category, this phase now has to be done in the hospital.  Whenever we meet counts, which we found out this afternoon, after I wrote most of this blog, that we didn't make counts... but when we do we will go into the hospital.....When we meet counts, Alayna will have a Lumbar Puncture in the morning and then start 24 hours of methotrexate.....Now methotrexate...yea, it's not a fun chemo AT ALL!!! The biggest side effect is mouth sores.....We will receive 24 hours of this drug, vwhich will basically kill every cell in her body, basically causing her to die....so after that 24 hours she will received a rescue drug for another 24 hours that restores the good cells and allows the bad cells to die.....After those fun two days, we wait.....we wait for the medicine to clear out of her system....she has to clear at 3 different levels and if you miss one of those levels, you start over....So there is a minimum of 3-4 days in the hospital....even longer if she does not clear the medicine or has any secondary infections (which we know the Lord will protect us against!).....once she clears the medicine, we are able to go home (PRAISE THE LORD!) and we start the process all over again...

We will be going through this process 4 times....Making counts, going into the hospital....clearing levels....and then going home.....4 hospital admissions... Yes, we will hopefully get a week and a couple days off during the hospital stays...but being in the hospital for 4 days in a row or more is definitely a challenge...Addyson will have to go full days at school while I am at the hospital with Alayna and Avery all day, and Ron has only about 6 hours to work, then pick up Addy and head to the hospital where we will then switch....I am sure dinner will fit in there somewhere but who knows....Honestly...we have a plan, but we won't really know exactly how it is going to work till it happens.....

I really try not to complain....but it's hard....I don't love being in the hospital at all....We go stir crazy and I hate just sitting there all day....we try to go on walks...ya know me and my Fitbit challenges...I like to do circles around the floor...I am sure the nurses think I'm insane...but it's the best I can do when I don't get to go run.....I hate not being able to run...it's like my sanity...but Alayna's health is more important than my desire to go run....

My running partners as of late

It's definitely a challenge, hospital life, and one we plan to take on with hope and encouragement.....we realize we have been blessed...there are so many people in the hospital in way worse situations than we are....in fact, one of my sweet friends son we have met in the hospital just found out her son's tumor is growing and the doctor's have almost given up on him...and my heart breaks for her....But we believe in a God of miracles and healing.....as we enter this next phase and the challenges that go with it I have to remember, once again, that we were called to this....Every person I meet, as I make my laps around the floor...every single family and patient....they need this hope we've found....They need to know it's going to be ok and that God truly can heal them....and I get to be that hope, to bring that hope to them....I may be the only encouragement they see all day....our friends Kristin & Jordan, who have also fought cancer with their daughter, tell a story about how they had a little coffee bar in their hospital room with good creamer and kcups and a Keurig, and how people knew that... and they would come to their room and they would just get to encourage them....I love that idea so if anyone wants to donate a keurig they aren't using and kcups, we will definitely take it lol!!!

Once again, the Lord reminds me that this whole entire journey isn't about me....it's about what the Lord is doing through me, through us, through Alayna.....

I have really been enjoying the @Running with the Giants" series from our home church, Church of the Highlands...it's been so encouraging to hear about all these amazing Giants of the bible and how their stories can encourage us...and one thing Pastor Chris said in his last message has really encouraged me....patience isn't about getting to the end of this battle, it's about what God is doing and teaching you during this journey......I know and believe we will make it through this next phase...but what does God want to do in my heart, in our family, through Alayna's story in the mean time???.....if I rush to get through it all, I will miss out on what He's teaching us.....so as we enter this phase, my eyes are open wide trying to find that next person to encourage and bless.....sure....hospital life really stinks, but we will make it....He's promised nothing is too hard.....There's so many things I could worry about.....how am I going to cook dinner and keep my house put together when I am never at home???...how are we going to pay our bills when Ron isn't working a lot and neither am I??? How is Addy going to handle going to school for full days??? How am I going to get any time with Ron????

WORRY......if I let it, it would take over.....but I remember that worry causes nothing but stress and is useless

James 1:5-8 
If you don’t know what you’re doing, pray to the Father. He loves to help. You’ll get his help, and won’t be condescended to when you ask for it. Ask boldly, believingly, without a second thought. People who “worry their prayers” are like wind-whipped waves. Don’t think you’re going to get anything from the Master that way, adrift at sea, keeping all your options open.

It doesn't make sense to live in fear, so we aren't.....Satan wants us to worry and be fearful...but one thing is for sure...the Lord has truly provided for us.....financially...with friends making meals....even with a few date nights....and given us so much joy in this whole process....Avery is such a sweet baby and so cuddly and sweet....Alayna keeps us laughing and smiling with just how cute she is and she has the best attitude ever...and Addyson is just so smart and her behavior is improving so much....we have dance parties when we have bad days....we get in the word...we listen to worship....we choose to keep going in all of this...we don't have answers, but the Lord continues to be faithful.....and this phase, although it is scary, is just another part of the process.......

Hillary Scott, from Lady Antebellum, has a new song from her new album she recorded with her family, called "Thy Will..." This song is amazing....and the words....wow....

“I know you’re good / But this don’t feel good right now / And I know you think / Of things I could never think about / It’s hard to count it all joy / Distracted by the noise / Just trying to make sense / Of all your promises / Sometimes I gotta stop....

 Remember that you’re God / And I am not 

Thy Will Song

I am not God.....But God is God and God is good...he's taken care of us this far and I cannot wait to see what He does next.....Thy will be done......

PRAYER REQUESTS:

1. Side EFFECTS! We are believing during this next phase we will have NO side effects from this crazy chemo...we will have no mouth sores, no secondary infection, and we will clear our levels and make counts with no real delays.....she has been such a trooper and we know that the Lord can keep her little body safe in all of this!!!

Psalms 107:17

Then you called out to God in your desperate condition:
he got you out in the nick of time.

He spoke the word that healed you,

    that pulled you back from the brink of death.

So thank God for his marvelous love,

    for his miracle mercy to the children he loves;

Offer thanksgiving sacrifices,

    tell the world what he’s done—sing it out!

2. OUR HOUSE!!!! There hasn't really been any real change until tonight...we got some kinda good news but not sure how it will pan out.....especially since our refrigerator and shelving from the closets were stollen....there has been a lot of negative talk about our house...why don't y'all do this?...why don't you change this?...and we just can't listen to it...when it's time for a change, God will show us....but we keep having showings and people keep looking at the house...we had 3 showings this week....but no offers yet but maybe soon...we are almost $20,000 below comps....we just have to believe that the Lord will sell this house in his timing......so please keep praying and keep sharing about our house... And that it will be the perfect family we can share this story with...that our beautiful house we designed will bless them like it blessed us....

http://www.zillow.com/homes/1351-oxford-manor-lane-birmingham-al-35242_rb/?fromHomePage=true&shouldFireSellPageImplicitClaimGA=false&fromHomePageTab=buy

3. WORK!!!! So thankful to the sweet friends who have helped us out by having a jewelry party or Facebook party for us....it feels so awesome to get back doing what I love...blessing women with free stuff, sharing our story, and telling others about all the Lord has done....so thanks to all that have stepped up to our challenge....we are believing for even more bookings as well.....But prayers that Ron would have consistent work and we would keep being able to pay our bills....this week has been slower all the way around, and the Lord knew we need a slower week...but praying that work continues to come in and that the problems we are having with our insurance will be resolved....and that we can make bad days better with sweet friends in the middle of it all....like we did this week 

Sweet Time with the Smith Family

besties

Corie Bell and Avery Grace

Selfie Traditions and Sweet friends

We also enjoyed a quick trip to Jacksonville this week to help some of our sweet friends with their floors and spend time with them!!! Prayers for continued happy days in the middle of our storm

4. INSURANCE....I have been battling the insurance company for over a month now...they randomly charge us an additional amount this month that is almost half the cost of our normal bill....plus the medical bills are rolling in...I don't know what to pay and what not to pay....I've spend numerous hours on the phone with the insurance company and market place...I am just over it.....please pray these details get worked out and that stress would be gone....

Hebrews 6:19

9 This hope is a strong and trustworthy anchor for our souls. It leads us through the curtain into God’s inner sanctuary. 20 Jesus has already gone in there for us.

5. COUNTS!!! We didn't make counts today and we aren't sure when we will. Most people I have talked to have been delayed at least 2-3 weeks....which means you don't get into maintenance till even longer. We are also trying to plan things for the summer and trips with work, etc...which is almost impossible. We go back next wed and since today our ANC was only 28 (I know right?) and we need to get to 750, we may not make it even this week....but prayers the Lord would make it happen in His timing and we could enjoy life in the process. With an ANC of 28, we are on strict fever watch and have to avoid any chance of sickness from anyone or anything (glad we went to Disney before we couldn't for sure! Our doctors are ok with being outdoors and we clean our hands constantly when we are there, but we avoid the rides and mostly just see characters and walk around, and since Animal Kingdom is basically all outdoors, that has become our favorite park!!) 

Disney with our sweet Birmingham friends 

Real Men Baby Wear

Animal Kingdom Fun

Thanks so much for the continued prayers......keep them coming........we love you all and are believing for amazing things in the next two months.......

New Baby, New Boo Boo's, and a new way of living....

Well it's definitely been a few weeks since we last updated....I would love to say I haven't had a lot going on...ya know, new baby, parents in town, Laney Bug in the hospital for 10 days......no excuse right?  Life with 3 is definitely interesting!  

Two Monday's ago we welcomed sweet Avery Grace into our little family....The whole experience was definitely an interesting one.  I was supposed to go into the hospital at 6AM but they ended up making me wait till after 10:00AM to actually come...I know that is only 4 hours, but when you are massively pregnant, and you have waited 9+ months to have a baby, you get a little upset when they say you can't have your baby at this moment...After a few tears turned into happiness when they called and said I could come, we headed into the hospital

Love this man right here

Delivery was.....well, it was interesting....when they finally got ready to break my water and start pitocin it was around 11AM....by 1:00PM my contractions had seriously progressed and I was ready for that wonderful needle from heaven....However, the hospital had different plans....at 2:45 I finally saw a CRNA...that should have been my sign....an hour later, with 6-7 needle pokes in my back and too many numbing shots (Which hurt almost just as bad as the needle in the back) to count, I had an epidural....Once I finally had it, I went from 7 to pushing in a matter of about 20 minutes....we are talking crazy fast! I pushed 3 times and then Ron was ready to catch her....It was so cool that once again, Ron literally pulled her out and cut the cord...It was incredible and also very special to have my mom in the room this time!  They immediately took about 8 ounces of fluid out of her belly because she literally spent no time in the birth canal!  She also immediately went potty (#1 and #2!) as soon as they put her under the light....The girls of course, fell in love with her, and we were excited to be a family of 5......It was also nice to be in the hospital for a happy reason, and not because Alayna was sick....We had lots of visitors and really just enjoyed time together, just Ron and I....something we are definitely lacking, ever since diagnosis

First Night!

A screenshot of the too expensive hospital pictures ha

Already a Daddy's girl

Such a sweet face

Love our Angel

She's Here

Miss Liz

Sweet Besties

WE love Mrs. Kelli

Time with the Romm's!

Mommy of 3 GIRLS!!!!

the traditions dress (I wore it home from the hospital and now all my girls have too!

Ready to Go Home

First Selfie!

Our Sweet Girl

We made it home and started quickly adjusting to life with 3....Thank the Lord for my Mama and Jerry...seriously....they stepped in to help with the older girls so I could focus on adjusting to life with Avery and by Friday we were ready for our clinic day!  Friday Clinic was interesting with a newborn, but I have learned to love nursing under a cover (HAHAHAHA! and no, I am not very comfy not using a cover yet!) On Friday, we also needed blood YEA! so that was fun times.....but our LP went well and we survived....and were able to come home to yummy food...Action set up a meal train for our first 2 weeks home and it has been SUCH a blessing for sure!

Clinic Cuddles

Over the weekend we got to spend time together as a family and on Sunday we even got to go swimming and attend Action as a family!!! On Sunday we noticed the spot on Alayna's leg where her bandaid had been after her chemo shot, didn't look great....she has had bandaid reactions before and has broken out a little bit, but we didn't think much about it because it's just common for her....she has eccezma and had impetigo 3 times right before we were diagnosed, so we just decided to keep an eye on it....

Enjoying our new Usborn books!!!

DADDY love

Pardon the scary face but look, even Avery thinks I'm funny

Loving this sweet girl

Swim Time...and the start of our Boo Boo

Baby Wearing at Action!

By Monday morning, Laney Bug's innocent Boo Boo was not so innocent anymore...She was limping on her leg and wouldn't even bend over to pick up her paci....which we all know is a big deal!  We also knew her counts had dropped because she was incredibly fussy...so back to the clinic it was! I can pretty much drive there with my eyes closed now a days, but hey, it's all part of it! We saw our awesome doctor, Dr. Sutphin and he gave us a dose of IV antibiotics and started us on an oral one too! Our platelets had dropped significantly as well, but the blood bank didn't have any platelets! People have asked us if they could donate platelets, but it's kind of hard to answer that question....It takes at least 72 hours to get them ready and then they are only good four about 4 days, so it's hard to plan when to have people donate, but with Alayna having 0- neg blood, it definitely throws a challenge into the mix....

By Tuesday, we were able to go BACK to clinic for platelets.....Buggy was also loosing hair left and right, but I was trying to hang out one more day because on Wednesday we were supposed to have newborn pictures, and I had adorable matching outfits for the girls to wear! (I am such a girl mom!) Well on Tuesday we waited a long time for platelets and we also got another dose of IV antibiotics because our Boo Boo wasn't any better....They deaccesesd Alayna's port and we were about ready to leave, when all of a sudden I noticed she felt really warm.....NOOO!!!!!! I thought to myself, there's no way she can have a fever....but sure enough, she sure did!!!! Which meant not only would they have to reaccess her port, but they also would be admitting us!!!! It was about at this point when I lost it....Alayna's hair was ALL over the place...we were supposed to have pictures...post pregnancy hormones were flying free, and now we were getting admitted, while I had a one week old with me......the tears came, but with those tears came the support of about 5 nurses and 1 incredible childlife specialist....The clinic nurses have truly become like family and let me vent and cry and even cried with me....One of our favorite nurses, Kat, and I decided it was time to get rid of the hair...so instead of getting newborn pictures, we would instead be shaving our sweet little girls head.....and the reality sank in.....

Psalms 91:14

The Lord says, “I will rescue those who love me.

    I will protect those who trust in my name.

15 

When they call on me, I will answer;

    I will be with them in trouble.

    I will rescue and honor them.

16 

I will reward them with a long life

    and give them my salvation.”

You can really tell here, it was just time

The amazing Lauren, our child life specialist, gave us a new headband, knowing the hair was going that night! Thanks to Headbands of Hope for such a cute Headband 

Moments before the Big Shave

of course Sis had to help

First Night with no hair

Last week was definitely a hard week...My parents decided to stay because we were in the hospital and they just knew it would be too hard to leave with all that was going on, and for this, I was so incredibly thankful! Basically in the mornings my Mama has been waking up early (and she isn't a morning person!) so I don't have to, and heads to the hospital, where Ron is.  Ron leaves and goes to work and Papa takes Addyson to school while I get ready and feed the baby....then I head to the hospital and stay all day, with Avery in tow, and spend time with Alayna....then when Ron is done with work, he heads to the hospital, and we switch...Thankfully my Mama also picks Addy up from school so she can nap, and also brings her back in the afternoons so Alayna and Addyson get to see each other...Ron and I spend about 15 mins together, and then I head home so I can sleep in my own bed and also take care of Avery throughout the night, not in a hospital....Let me tell ya, it's not my ideal life right now....My Big Brother and his family came this weekend to spend extra time with Addyson and that was also another huge blessing....

Packages from Sweet Friends

Trying a bottle Of Mommy Milk...not a fan Of the bottle part lol

We got to go to Easter services, but I definitely didn't get to put my girls in their matching outfits, which was definitely hard.....But the more I thought about it. the more it just made sense.....You see, the Lord suffered and died on a cross for our sins and for our HEALING, so at the end of the day, it didn't really matter in the grand scheme of things, that I didn't get our perfect family Easter photo....and it's ok....this is all just a season....

At least my outfit matched ha

Psalms 74:17

You own the day, you own the night;

    you put stars and sun in place.

You laid out the four corners of earth,

    shaped the seasons of summer and winter.

It makes me think of one of my favorite Hillsong songs,

When battle’s near I will not fear

Your promises are unshaken

My faith is sure of nothing more

Than Christ alone my portion

There’ll be a season

For joy and weeping

In everything our God is faithful

His arms are open

I will come running

Now and always our God is faithful

And it's so true.....Our God is faithful...Last week we spent the entire week in the hospital, with no answers.....Honestly it was tiring....we watched her leg get worse and her pain progress....we needed answers...she couldn't even walk or straighten her leg, but finally answers have started to come....Monday we got a new set of doctors's since they change every week on Monday's...and we have finally started to see her improve....although her leg wound is not better yet, her mood and her ability to play and walk on it has greatly improved.....We still are not sure how the wound happened...and I am purposefully not posting a picture of it because it would really gross a lot of people out....but we think it was from leaving the bandaid on her leg and her low blood counts....She still refuses to put pressure on her leg but today we started seeing a physical therapist.....On Tuesday, after waiting all day on Monday for it to happen and my Mama Bear having to come out some, we got a biopsy and those results still haven't come back.....but we are trusting and believing that she will walk again, rather RUN again, with no residual effect.....even the scar that she will have will only just be part of her story of healing....

John 20

27 Then he focused his attention on Thomas. “Take your finger and examine my hands. Take your hand and stick it in my side. Don’t be unbelieving. Believe.”

28 Thomas said, “My Master! My God!”

29 Jesus said, “So, you believe because you’ve seen with your own eyes. Even better blessings are in store for those who believe without seeing.”

It's been crazy how the Lord has continued to open up door of ministry for us...Ron, well, you know how He is...he loves to talk...and he has spent so much time talking to the nurses about the Lord...and also convincing them that they need to come to Action :)  But even in surgery the Lord opened up a door for me to talk to a family with a new diagnosis.....We have also felt the love and support of so many as we are in the hospital...we have gotten fun packages and all the little things truly keep us going....Hospital life is hard....it's definitely messing with my chances to ever win another FitBit Challenge again right now....and I do go stir crazy....but then I realize that every person that walks into our room is another person that needs hope and needs to be encouraged...so that is what I try to do! We have realized that we have been faced with so many challenge, but honestly, it could be worse...our daughter is free from leukemia...and now we just have to walk these challenges of continued treatment out, and allow God to use our lives as a testimony for everyone we meet....Although the days are long, and the sleep is short (We are on team #NoSleep like my friend Tiffany calls it!) we are blessed that the Lord is constantly sustaining us and using us in ways we would have never imagined.....

Philippians 4:6-7The Message (MSG)

6-7 Don’t fret or worry. Instead of worrying, pray. Let petitions and praises shape your worries into prayers, letting God know your concerns. Before you know it, a sense of God’s wholeness, everything coming together for good, will come and settle you down. It’s wonderful what happens when Christ displaces worry at the center of your life.

The Morning Trek every morning

#HospitalLife

cuddles

Love our Kelsey Time

PRAYER LIST:

1. Pray for complete healing of Alayna's leg, and that it would heal quickly....like I said, hospital life's hard but we know that the Lord has us here for a reason...but I am ready to go home....I am ready to figure out life as a family of 5 without spending time in the hospital...I want to just all be in the same place at the same time....I also know my parents cannot stay forever (although I wish they would!) so we would love to be discharged because her leg is healing and she is responding to treatment

Starting to feel better

2. Pray the biopsy will give us results....so far the cultures have been negative because she has been on high doses of antibiotics, so pray the biopsy will actually give us results as to what this is!!! If we know exactly what caused the wound, we can know how to treat it....Also pray that even if we don't get results, the antibiotics will start working and that will also help us get closer to discharge

3. OUR HOUSE!!!!! Y'all, we knocked down the price and we have had less showings and less movement....we are considering an appraisal just so we can know the exact amount our house is worth, and make sure it's priced well, but that is another $400 and well, we all know that is a challenge....we are also still paying two house payments and Alabama bills...I'm over it and I am just really ready for it to sell...it's priced $20,000 below comps, so I am not exactly sure what the deal is...but it's time for something to happen, something to change...so please pray the Lord guides us and leads us on what to do next to get it sold!!!!

4. Pray that Avery will adjust to this crazy life...She is doing really great, and I really can't complain...but the last few nights she has denied her fussy time of day is going to be between 11:30PM and 1:00AM and that is just wearing on this Mama

5. Pray for continued strength as a family as we live in many different places, and not in the same place :( We are ready to be all in the same place....and prayers as always, that as the medical bills are slowly starting to come in, the Lord will continue to provide like he has so far!!!!!

We love you all and are truly overwhelmed by all the support....THANK YOU SOOOO MUCH!!!!

Also, we relaunched the T-shirt fundraiser...so make sure if you didn't get a shirt last time, that you get one now....Our sweet preschool even decided to use their BikeAThon to support us and we were blown away by that!!! Thanks so much for all the love 

Community Alliance Bike A Thon for Alayna